


The Punk Guy From Chipotle

by gingeraledrummer



Category: Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Gay Sex, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-04-15 04:30:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4592907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingeraledrummer/pseuds/gingeraledrummer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler slammed the door right in his face and he felt like a fucking idiot because that's not how you react to these things but the cute punk guy from Chipotle was standing at the door to his fucking apartment and he had no fucking clue how the hell he knew where he lived.</p><p>"Fuck."</p><p>{ Update : this is dead sorry never being updated again sorry for the lies }</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Moving In

**Author's Note:**

> I was bored and I needed to make another smut story with fluff and smut and I just felt like making this. It's also like 1 in the morning so....

_“Fuck.”_ Tyler thought as he stared at the apartment building he was just moving into. His apartment was on the 10th floor and that meant lugging the stuff that his roommate Brendon had forgotten to get moved.

 

“Well fuck” Brendon voiced Tyler’s thoughts as he walked over next to him.

 

“Yeah….” Tyler sighed, then turned fully to his friend. “I’m not taking your stuff up, you can get your boy toy to do that.”

 

“Hey!” A voice called from behind Tyler’s car and Dallon, Brendon’s boyfriend, popped his head out. “I’m not his boy toy!”

 

“Of course you’re not.” Tyler snorted, looking at the taller man.

 

“He’s right, he’s not. I’m the one that prefers to get fucked into the mattress.” Brendon smirked as he walked past Tyler to the car.

 

Tyler gagged, glaring after the older man. He and Brendon had been roommates since college. They had gotten along pretty well and made a plan to move to LA together in search for jobs. Dallon had tagged along, saying that he would share a room with Brendon so they wouldn’t have to get an extra but Tyler would rather get an extra room for Dallon then have to hear him and and Brendon going at it all night long in the next room over.

 

He ran a hand over his face in exasperation as he looked back at the apartment complex. He heard struggling behind the car and walked over to see Brendon and Dallon pulling out a box of parts, which was Brendon’s bed.

 

“I’m gonna go check out the place and see if my stuff’s in my room.” Tyler said, earning a nod of approval from Brendon and he scurried off before Brendon could call him back.

 

He took the elevator, deciding he didn’t want to walk up the stairs and tire himself before he had to unpack. He walked down the hall, finding his apartment and jamming the key into the lock, opening the door and stepping inside. He entered a hallway, walking into the main area, a kitchen to the right and a living room and hallway to the left. He stepped into the kitchen, walking around the area and thinking about all the things Dallon would probably make. He padded through the furnished living room to the adjoined hallway and found his bedroom. It was at the end of the hallway, directly across from the bathroom. There was a window at the end of the hall from floor to ceiling and Tyler stared out of it at the vast expanse of LA not to far in the distance. He smiled happily and entered his room, maneuvering around the boxes to get a feel of where he wanted to begin setting up his things.

 

“First things first.” He said to himself. “Food.”

 

Tyler exited his room and apartment, running into Brendon and Dallon as they exited the elevator, each with a box.

 

“Hey Ty, can you help with the stuff? There’s a few more boxes outside.” Dallon smiled and Tyler sucked in air between his teeth noisily.

 

“Sorry, but I’m gonna go get some Chipotle. I’ll leave the trailer so you guys can continue unpacking.” He said quickly, closing the elevator door.

 

“Get me a burrito!” Brendon managed to call before the doors closed.

 

The elevator ride wasn’t long and Tyler was outside, unhooking the trailer from his car after backing it into the parking spot. He turned put on some directions to the nearest Chipotle and began blasting My Chemical Romance. From first glance, Tyler didn’t look like the guy that liked Punk Rock. He looked more like a guy who would listen to pop or something. Just not punk rock. He sang along with Gerard as he drove, bobbing his head to the beat as well. He cut off the music as he parked his car, climbing out and continuing to hum the song as he walked into the Chipotle.

 

For a Chipotle at 5 in the afternoon on a Saturday, it was pretty damn empty. The line wasn’t that long and there weren’t a lot of people sitting down or milling about. He smiled, meaning this would be a short trip and he could set up his bed before the sun set.

 

He began humming _“Planetary GO!”_ as he stepped up to the counter, looking at the menu and fumbling with his hands. He wasn’t exactly the best person to put in a social situation, especially if it was ordering but he was getting better. He could at least speak somewhat clearly.

 

“So, what can I get for you to- Are you humming My Chemical Romance?” The guy behind the counter said and Tyler’s head snapped down to look at the guy wide-eyed.

 

This guy looked like he listened to punk rock music. He had purple cotton candy looking hair that was shaved on the sides so he had a crazy mohawk. He had gages, a nose ring, and a tattoo sleeve on his right arm. Despite looking like a guy that could beat you up, he had kind eyes and a warm smile.

 

“Y-yeah. You listen to them too?” Tyler managed.

 

“Totally! They’re sick.” The cotton candy haired guy said and his voice was also very comforting.

 

“So sick. Too bad they broke up r-right.” Tyler laughed nervously.

 

“Yeah.” The guy shrugged. “Sucks. Anyway, what can I get you?”

 

Tyler quickly ordered a burrito bowl for him and a burrito for Brendon, already knowing what his roommate liked in it. He stuttered through ordering, glancing up at the punk guy. He was cute. Wait, not cute, adorable. As the punk guy rung up Tyler’s order, Tyler realised he wanted to know this guy’s name.

 

“This looks like allot for one little guy.” The punk guy (Tyler needed to stop calling him that) laughed, then blushed. “I didn’t mean little as an insult it-it’s just you’re skinny and I-”

 

“It’s okay.” Tyler said, putting a stop to the punk guy’s rambling. “It’s not all for me. It’s also for my roommates.”

 

The punk guy nodded in understanding and told Tyler his total. As Tyler paid he looked for a name-tag on the guy, trying to be discreet but he obviously failed horribly.

 

“Josh.” The punk guy said.

 

“What?” Tyler raised an eyebrow.

 

“My name’s Josh Dun. You were looking for a name-tag but I don’t have one.” The punk guy, Josh Dun, said gesturing to his chest where a name-tag would be.

 

“Oh.” Was all Tyler could say, embarrassed Josh actually knew what he was looking for.

 

 _“Dammit Tyler.”_ He cursed himself internally.

 

“What’s your name?” Josh chuckled and Tyler internally cursed himself again.

 

 _“Forgot to say your name idiot.”_ Tyler thought, and he smiled awkwardly.

 

“Tyler Joseph.” He said hurriedly, adding a nervous laughter afterwards.

 

“Cute name.” Josh smiled, then Tyler heard himself cursing under his breath. “That’s not what I meant to say-”  
  


“It-It’s fine. I-I gotta go.” Tyler stuttered out, blushing madly, deciding to leave before things got anymore painfully awkward.

 

He retrieved his Chipotle, raising his hand in a hasty wave to Josh, and rushed out of the restaurant. He got to the safety of his car, setting the food in the passenger seat and just sitting in the car. He stared at Josh working from his car, thinking about what had just happened, before he turned on his car, and sped back to the apartment.

 

******************************

 

Tyler slammed closed the apartment door, hearing someone thud in the next room. A flushed Brendon poked his head around the corner wide-eyed, but relaxed upon seeing his roommate and Tyler’s face pulled up in disgust at what he assumed was happening in his absence.

 

“I brought back Chipotle.” He mumbled.

 

“Obviously. You got me a burrito, right?” Brendon snorted, walking over to Tyler as he set the food on the counter of the kitchen.

 

Brendon was already retrieving his prize and sitting down at the bar with his burrito, Dallon walking over shirtless and equally as flushed to join them. Tyler’s face scrunched up again as he grabbed his food and set it on the counter, opening it and running his hands through his hair.

 

“What’s wrong.” Brendon said bluntly.

 

“Nothing.” Tyler answered quickly.

 

“You’re a shitty liar. What’s wrong.” Brendon said, biting into his half of the burrito.

 

Tyler sighed, poking at his food with fork before dropping it. It was true that something was wrong.

 

“I met this guy who worked at Chipotle who was really adorable and sexy and he liked MCR and he said my name was cute and I think I’m in love Brendon what do I do.” Tyler said concernedly.

 

Tyler looked up at Brendon to see him staring at Tyler with an amused expression. Tyler frowned in agitation at his roommate.

  
“You get his number?” Brendon question.

 

“Do you think I have the social capability to ask for his number in front of people?” Tyler huffed indignantly.

 

“You have enough social capability to be a sassy shit to me so yeah, I do.” Brendon retorted.

 

“I’ve known you for a while Brendon. I met him 10 minutes ago.” Tyler deadpanned.

 

Brendon rolled his eyes. “Well, maybe go back tomorrow and ask him for his number. I’ll come with you.” Brendon suggested.

 

“That work-” Tyler sighed, but was cut off to a knocking at their front door.

 

All three looked over at the door with equally confused expressions. Tyler, made his way over, deicing that a shirtless Dallon answering the door with two guys in the background or Brendon answering the door wasn’t a good idea. He pulled open the door, looking up and he froze, eyes wide at the person standing there.

  
“Oh, hey Tyler.”


	2. Awkward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so lazily written I'm tired.
> 
> I'll write better in the morning maybe.

Tyler slammed the door right in his face and he felt like a fucking idiot because that’s not how you react to these things but the cute punk guy from Chipotle was standing at the door to his fucking apartment and he had no fucking clue how he knew where he lived.

 

“Fuck.” Tyler hissed, pulling open the door, probably red from all the blushing.

 

When Tyler looked up Josh was biting his lip and there was a red head girl standing next to him with a nose ring and a confused look on her face. Tyler guessed it was his girlfriend and his blush seemed to dissipate almost immediately.

 

“S-Sorry about that. I just wasn’t expecting this. C-Come in.” Tyler groaned, embarrassed.

 

“Uh, it’s cool. I wasn’t expecting this either. We were just coming to see who the new neighbors were and surprise surprise it’s you.” Josh chuckled nervously, stepping in then holding out his hands, eyes widening again.

 

“I-I didn’t mean you offensively I just meant you as in it was you and I wasn’t-” Josh said, then took a deep breath. “I’ll shut up now.”

 

Tyler nodded and waited until both of the guests were inside the house and closed the door. Josh turned to him again and gestured to the red headed girl.

 

“This is my girlfriend Debby.” Josh said, then looked at the girl. “Debby, Tyler. Tyler, Debby.”

 

“Hi! How do you know Josh?” The girl, Debby, said brightly wrapping Tyler in a hug.

 

Tyler, not very used to hugs from strangers went rigid and stiffly moved to hug her back and pulled away, looked around awkwardly.

 

“I uh, met him today at the Chipotle…. He was constantly apologizing for things he said.” Tyler chuckled, running his hand over the back of his neck.

 

Debby laughed and nodded. “He does that.”

 

“It’s because I don’t want them to take what I said the wrong way.” Josh huffed, blushing.

 

Tyler opened his mouth to say something before he was cut off by Brendon.

 

“Hey there!” Brendon called from the kitchen, gladly breaking the awkward moment.

 

Tyler sighed happily as Josh and Debby walked into the kitchen to greet Brendon and Dallon and Tyler saw him blushing slightly at the sight of Dallon shirtless. Tyler couldn’t lie, Dallon shirtless was pretty attractive.

 

Tyler padded into the kitchen, scratching the back of his head and standing at the counter opposite Brendon and Dallon. Josh stepped next to him, Debby on the edge of the counter and Tyler looked at the slightly smaller man. He noticed Debby looking over Dallon’s chest before focusing back on their faces.

 

“That’s Brendon and Dallon, my roommates. I’ve been with Brendon since College and Dallon just recently moved in.” Tyler said, Josh and Debby giving silent hello’s and small waves.

 

“He’s my boyfriend that’s why.” Brendon said and Tyler saw Josh and Debby blush simultaneously.

 

“I thought I was your boy toy.” Dallon teased and Tyler was blushing.

 

 _“Why are they having this conversation now.”_ Tyler groaned internally. his face in his hands.

 

“You are. And I, am your fuck bud-” Brendon started before Tyler interjected.

 

“Not now Brendon, please.” He said through gritted teeth.

 

“We’ll just leave you three. We made my bed and we intend to use it.” Brendon grinned.

 

“For sleeping I hope.” Tyler muttered.

 

“For fucking!” Brendon called before he slammed his door shut.

 

Tyler’s face was back in his hands as he blushed and managed to maneuver into the living room and sit down.

 

“I’m so sorry about them.” He mumbled.

 

“It’s no big deal.” Josh said nervously, sitting down on the other couch.

 

“They’re so open about it….” Debby noted, taking a seat next to Josh and watching after them for a moment before turning her attention back to Tyler.

 

Tyler shook his head and looked at Josh. “It’s a big deal because they shouldn’t do that. I’m really sorry.” He looked at Debby and shrugged. “I guess it’s cause they’re in their own house. They’re not usually like that sorry.”

 

“I don’t care. The neighbors on the right of us do that all the time. Surprisingly thin walls.” Josh chuckled.

 

“Yeah, that’s true. We’re used to it. But I think it’s good that they’re so open about it.” She smiled, glancing in their direction. “It’s good to be proud of it.”

 

Tyler nodded and smiled at Debby. She was nice and understanding and she approved of gays and that stuff. He could get to like her.

 

“Well I apologize but it’s gonna be on both sides now.” Tyler joked.

 

“Sadly.” Josh laughed and Debby laughed and Josh had the cutest laugh.

 

When the laughter died down, they sat in awkward silence for a moment and Tyler gestured to his TV.

 

“Wanna watch something?” He asked.

 

TV would distract from the awkward silence.

 

“Nah, we should get some sleep. Work tomorrow.” Josh sighed, standing up, Debby following his lead before stepping close to him and grabbing his hand in hers.

 

Tyler stood as well, knowing it was good manners.

 

“I’ll uh, show you out?” He said, curving the end up into a question.

 

“I guess.” Josh shrugged and they all walked towards the door.

 

Tyler reached the door first, pulling it open and standing by the door awkwardly. Josh smiled at him and Tyler smiled nervously back. Debby looked at Josh then Tyler and Tyler saw something flash in her gaze before it was smothered with a sincere smile.

 

“Bye Tyler!” She waved her free hand.

 

“Uhm, see ya later I guess.” Josh said, leaning in for a hug and Tyler returned it.

 

It was an awkward hug, like most of their interactions and Tyler accidentally groaned in Josh’s ear at how horribly awkward he was. His eyes widened and he pulled away from the other man, blushing madly. Josh was biting his lip and looking away. Tyler looked at Debby and she looked confused, as if she hadn’t heard what had just happened and she probably didn’t.

 

“I’m sorry I was just- I’m so horribly awkward that wasn’t meant to happen.” Tyler rambled.

 

“It’s cool man.” Josh said awkwardly, before turning and looking at Debby who looked Tyler directly in the eyes.

 

“Uh, bye Debby.” Tyler said awkardly, hugging her and giving her a smile.

 

She gave a small wave before making her way out the door, Josh standing in the doorway for a moment before looking at Tyler. “See you later maybe.”

 

Tyler waved at him, looking down at his feet as the man left and closing the door behind him before leaning on it and running a hand through his hair. He thought over what he had just done and he pushed out some air. He made his way to his room, pulled a pillow from his box of things, and screamed into it.

 

 _“Fuck.”_ He thought, to himself after he was done screaming.

 

He looked down at the box that held his bed parts and sighed, dropping the pillow. He had totally forgotten about the bed and the sun was down.

 

_“Fuck.”_

 

************************************

  
  
  


Tyler flopped onto his now made bed, sighing tiredly as he lay on the comfortable mattress and soft sheets. He moaned in comfort at the soft feeling, snuggling against the sheets until he froze at the reminder that these walls were incredibly thin and Josh and Debby were right next door.

 

He groaned into his pillow in frustration before clapping his hand over his mouth and cursing quietly to himself. He was so stupid, he needed to get out of that habit. He sat up and cursed to himself, rubbing his hands over his eyes and leaning against the headboard. He sighed before he heard shuffling on the other side of the wall and small whimpers and moans to accompany the shuffling. He listened intently, part of him yelling to stop eavesdropping and leave, but he couldn’t. The movements and noises didn’t get any louder, just keeping to small moans and the sound of kissing.

 

Tyler found himself closing his eyes, thinking about how it would feel to kiss Josh, his lips on his own. The thoughts developed to Josh’s kisses trailing down Tyler’s neck and collarbone, leaving little bruises that Tyler would have the next day. Tyler whimpered, unable to catch himself as the thoughts went straight to his groin and he heard the noises on the other side of the wall stop and he bit his lip. He cursed himself again, sitting quietly, waiting for any indication of noise before he heard murmuring on the other side of the wall.

 

 _“Shit….”_ Tyler thought, pressing his head against the wall gently, not moving.

 

He heard the voices continue for a moment before there was shuffling and then silence. Tyler didn’t move until a few moments later he heard soft snoring and then he got up and walked into the kitchen. He leaned on the counter, before reaching up and grabbing a glass and some water. He drank the whole glass, shaking his head and standing up straight.

 

“Stupid.” He muttered to himself, before walking back to his bedroom and gently getting into bed.

  
He rolled onto his side, shaking his head and mumbling before falling asleep, one last “Stupid.”


	3. 3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't feel like adding a summary. It spoils what happens.  
> (Revised Chapter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm ashamed that I wrote this much wow

Tyler woke up with a groan as sunlight streamed through his windows. He had forgotten to close the curtains last night and he sighed, deciding he should get up. He rolled out of bed and felt something sticky on him and he looked down to see he had his cum on him and he groaned in more frustration. He must’ve had a wet dream. He stalked into the bathroom, turning on the shower grumpily shucking off his pants and boxers at the same time then pulled his shirt over his head. He stepped into the warm stream of water, putting his face directly under, then wetting his hair and scratching it with his fingers. He smiled, feeling relaxed under the warm water and everything washed away. He hummed happily, washing his body and his hair. He didn’t know why he hadn’t wanted this shower, it was just what he needed.

 

After he was clean and washed, he turned off the water, shaking his hair to get rid of some extra water. He grabbed a towel, scratching his furiously to dry it. He ran the towel over his body thoroughly, drying himself contentedly. He picked up his discarded clothes and dropped them in his laundry hamper and picked up his bag off of the floor. He opened it and pulled out some black skinny jeans, a new pair of boxers, and his favored mickey mouse shirt. He pulled on the clothes, reveling in their comfort on him and he pulled on some socks and walked into the kitchen. He didn’t realize that it was extremely quiet in the apartment until he had walked into the kitchen. Generally, Dallon and Brendon would be in here talking and bantering while Dallon cooked up some breakfast but it was empty and quiet.

 

“Brendon? Dal?” Tyler called, walking around the apartment, then to their room.

 

He grabbed their door knob, taking a deep breath and opening it slightly. He didn’t hear anything happening, or anything really and he opened the door fully to see the bed empty and made. Dallon was always a neat freak. Tyler sighed and walked back into the kitchen to see a note on the counter. He picked it up, hoping it wasn’t something about everybody being dead or Brendon and Dallon running away.

 

 _“Hey Tyler. Dallon and I are off to work. You were asleep and I didn’t feel like waking you up, meaning Dallon wouldn’t let me. There’s some waffles and bacon in the fridge for you. Don’t stay at home all day you lazy shit, get a job.”_ Was written on the note and Tyler snorted at the last sentence.

 

He might as well. He needed to pay for the apartment as well and it would be good idea to make some friends. Brendon and Dallon got jobs at a studio as interns, meaning they had to be there early for early recordings and stuff. Tyler walked over to the fridge, pulling it open and grabbing his breakfast. He heated it up and ate it slowly, thinking about where he could work. He could go to the Chipotle, Josh worked there and they might get to know each other better. But on the off hand, he had a girlfriend and they probably heard him last night when he was whimpering. That might make things awkward. He could pretend that it didn’t happen and totally avoid that topic of conversation. He gave frustrated groan, slamming his head on the table, hissing at the pain. There was no other place where he knew someone and it was better to know someone than to  know no one. He finished his breakfast, standing and putting it in the sink for Dallon to clean later and he grabbed his keys, phone, and his shoes. He pulled them on and then walked back into his room, pulling out a folder and taking a filled out resume from it. He trotted out the apartment and down to his car, climbing in and starting it. He turned on his phone’s screen, checking his notifications and he had a few texts from his mom and his friend Jenna (who was back in Columbus). He replied quickly to the texts before he checked the time.

 

“12:30 IN THE AFTERNOON!” He screeched to himself, startled he had actually slept that long.

 

He didn’t even go to bed that late. He shook his head, turning on some music and making his way to the Chipotle. He began going over phrases to say in his head when he asked for the manager. He tried not to panic, mentally preparing himself for the worst. He pulled into the parking lot, taking note of the sign that said **_“HELP WANTED”_**. He hadn’t noticed it yesterday and had hoped that there was one so he wasn’t awkwardly rejected. He took a deep breath and entered the restaurant, going straight to the cash register with his head down. He held the resume in his hands nervously, taking a breath and looking up at the person behind the cash register and gave a semi-relieved breath. The familiar purple hair stuck out and he smiled nervously at Josh, who returned the same smile.

 

“Um, can I speak to your manager? I-I want to apply here.” Tyler said.

 

He looked up at Josh to see a shocked look on his face. He almost left but then he remembered that he needed a job and he wouldn’t let last night's unfateful events get in the way of it. He attempted to keep the blush and fear off of his face. He needed to act like it didn’t happen and see how Josh would take it. He noticed Josh had been staring at him with an inquisitive and distant look on his face and Tyler realized the awkward silence.

 

“Josh? Can I speak to your manager?” Tyler said, waving a hand in front of his face.

 

“Uh sure.” Josh said distantly, before shaking his hand and looking around frantically. “What for?”

 

“I want to apply for a job here.” Tyler said keeping his voice from wavering and he noticed Josh freeze for a moment.

 

He grabbed a red head girl’s arm and pulled her in front of the cash register. Tyler noticed it was Debby and his heart sank farther because she might bring it up and he really didn’t want that. He gave her a smile as her face brightened at the sight of him.

 

“Take over for me Deb.” Josh said and then gestured for Tyler to follow him.

 

“Okie. Hey Tyler.” She said softly.

 

“Hey…” Tyler replied weakly.

 

Josh began walking past the kitchens and Tyler hurried after him, looking at the equipment and going over in his head the different things to do for each job. He had gone to Chipotle so many times that he knew how to do the jobs simply because he always watched the workers. They walked over to a hallway and there were 3 doors. Josh walked to the one at the far left, knocking. A muffled voice allowed entry and Josh opened the door stepping in and Tyler followed him quickly, nearly tripping over his own feet and muttering a curse to himself. He looked up to see a pretty thin man with brown hair that was pretty messy. He wore a general suit but his sleeves were rolled up and his head rested on his palm.

 

“What is it Josh? Was he stealing?” The man said boredly.

 

“No, he wants to apply actually.” Josh mumbled and the man immediately brightened.

 

“That’s great! Sit down and we’ll get started.” The man said, gesturing to the seats in front of his desk, Tyler sitting taking the one on the left.

 

He heard the door close and assumes Josh left to go back to his job and he smiled nervously at the man.

 

“What’s your name?” The man said.

 

“Tyler.” Tyler breathed.

 

“So Tyler,” The man said, locking his fingers and staring intently at Tyler. “Tell me why you want this job.”

 

*****************************************

 

Tyler was grinning happily as he left the manager's office, the man walking next to him with a smile.

 

“So, you can start tomorrow and you’ll be at the counter. You’ll do the cash register, is that good?” He said and Tyler nodded.

 

“That’s great. Thank you.” Tyler said, turning and standing on the opposite side of the counter to face the man. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“Don’t be late.” The manager joked, before turning and disappearing back to his office.

 

Tyler smiled, turning and going to leave when someone called his name.

 

“Tyler!” He turned to see Josh sitting at a table near the window, waving him over.

 

Tyler glanced around, looking for Debby only to see that she was still working behind the counter, bright smile and all.

 

Tyler walked over, sitting across from him, smiling confidently.

 

“What’s got you so happy?” Josh questioned, taking a bite of his burrito. “Did you get the job or something?”

 

“Yes, actually.” Tyler grinned wider.

 

Josh choked on his burrito, setting it down and covering his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut before looking up at Tyler, shocked.

 

“R-Really?” Josh coughed.

 

Tyler’s eyes were wide at the purple haired man’s reaction and he placed a hand on his shoulder worriedly.

 

“Yes really. I-Is it a problem? If it’s a problem I’ll-” Tyler rambled.

 

Josh shook his head and looked up at Tyler with a startled expression.

 

“No it’s cool, it’s cool…” He said distantly.

 

Josh began eating again and Tyler got a text, lifting his phone to check. It was from Brendon. He opened it and read it quickly, smiling.

 

“Who is it?” Josh questioned, raising his eyebrows.

 

“Brendon. He was just telling me he and Dallon are coming home late.” Tyler shrugged. “You wanna hang out? We could order some pizza and have some Red Bull. Maybe watch some TV.”

 

Josh was smiling now and Tyler realized how he sounded and he covered his face with his hands and groaned.

 

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” He frowned and Josh nodded.

 

“Of course it isn’t…. But sure. Debby’s going out with her friends for the weekend and I’ve got nothing better to do. We can hang at my apartment though because I don’t think your place is fully furnished.” Josh suggested.

 

Tyler blushed slightly, biting his lip and nodding, running a hand through his hair.

 

“Uh yeah.” Tyler nodded. “When should I come over?”  
  


Josh looked up as if to remember something and then he looked back at Tyler. “Around 7:30ish. I get home around 6  but I wanna take a shower and stuff and Debby leaves at 7.”

 

“Cool.” Tyler said, standing up. “See you at 7:30. It sounds like a date and that’s totally not what it is.”

 

Josh chuckled and nodded and Debby walked over just as Tyler turned around.

 

“Are you leaving?” She asked, brushing her hands on her apron.

  
“Yeah. I gotta finish my apartment. See you around. Bye Debby, bye Josh.” Tyler said hurriedly, quickly shuffling out of the restaurant.

 

Tyler rushed over to his car and climbed in, turning it on, putting it into gear, and quickly driving back to his apartment. He got inside and flopped on the couch, then ran over what Josh had said.

 

_“I don’t think your place is fully furnished.”_

“I should probably finish with my room.” He mumbled, then looked at his phone.

 

It was 2:45. He had been there for 2 hours. He still had 5 hours left until he had to go to Josh’s and he had no clue what he was going to do. Sighing, he reluctantly pulled himself from the couch and made his way to his room, bitterly beginning the work on his room.

 

**********************************

 

Tyler glanced at his phone, seeing it was 7:25. He had taken a nap after finishing his work and was just now waking up. He groaned, pulling himself out of his bed and going to the bathroom, splashing cold water over his face. He looked at himself in the mirror, then bent down and wet his hair, running his hands through it. He patted it down with a towel so it was slightly damp and he went and pulled on some pants and a shirt. He didn’t bother with shoes, Josh was only next door. He grabbed the keys to the apartment, pocketing them along with his phone and leaving, making sure all the lights were off. He walked over to Josh’s door (which he figured out from the sound of the noises from yesterday) and knocked. He shuffled awkwardly outside the door until he heard footsteps and then the door opened and he went rigid.

 

Josh answered the door, wide-eyed with only a pair of low lying boxers, sticking to his still damp body. He was dripping with water and his hair stuck to his head. They stared at each other for a moment before Tyler looked down at his feet, blushing madly. He glanced up slightly and caught sight of Josh’s V-Line and he focused his gaze back down at his shoes. He began feeling things he knew he shouldn’t and he squeezed his eyes shut. He should probably leave and come back later when Josh was fully dressed. He quickly looked back up at Josh who was blushing.

 

“Is it 7:30 already?” He winced.

 

“Uh, y-yeah it is.” Tyler stuttered out.

 

Josh sighed and then groaned in frustration, moving out of the doorway and gesturing Tyler in with his hands. “Well, come in.”

 

Tyler nodded curtly and entered the apartment, finding his way onto the couch in the living room where he sat rigidly. Josh followed him then jabbed a thumb in the direction of his bedroom.

 

“I’m gonna get on some clothes….” Josh said, disappearing down the corridor and Tyler groaned, dropping his face into his hands.

 

Josh was one piece of clothing away from naked in the next room over and that’s not how this was supposed to happen. He wasn’t supposed to answer the door with only boxers on and still dripping wet and looking so very tantalizing. Josh had a girlfriend for God’s sake. Tyler felt himself harden and he palmed his erection, willing it down.

 

 _“He has a girlfriend and it’s not going to turn out like this. He can't know. He **can't** know.”_ Tyler thought, willing images of Josh with Debby into his head.

 

Immediately he was no longer hard and he willed the images away. He took a deep breath and lounged on the couch. He thought about how he would stay away from the topic of  what happened last night when Josh walked in. He wore black skinny jeans and what would be a t-shirt except the sleeves were cut off and the arm holes stretched all the way to an inch above the hem of the shirt, and he was still damp and his shirt was sticking to him, slightly see through because of the white fabric. Tyler raised an eyebrow at Josh who shrugged.

 

“It’s a comfortable shirt.” He said nonchalantly.

 

“It’s like a strip of cloth it practically covers nothing on your chest. From the side you can see your whole torso.” Tyler scoffed, feeling slightly more comfortable.

 

“I’m not changing.” Josh said with finality and Tyler raised his hands up in mock surrender.

 

“Alright. Did you order the pizza?” Tyler said, avoiding looking at Josh.

 

“Yeah. I got cheese and meat lovers. I wasn’t sure which you would want.” Josh shrugged, dropping onto the couch next to Tyler.

 

“Either’s fine.” Tyler sighed. “Oh, where are your Red Bulls?” He looked up at Josh.

 

“Fridge. Where else?” Josh chuckled and Tyler blushed slightly.

 

Tyler jumped up, walking into the kitchen and retrieving two Red Bull’s from the fridge. On his way back, he decided to start the watching of TV so no more awkward conversation would ensue.

 

“Here.” He handed the Red Bull to Josh.

 

Josh took it and Tyler moved just slightly past Josh so he could sit. He noticed the remote on the coffee table and he bent and grabbed it. He heard Josh choke on his Red Bull and he realized what he probably just did and he hurriedly sit down fully. He forced away his blush as he turned on the TV.

 

“Whaddya wanna watch?” He questioned, turning and looking at the purple haired boy.

 

He knew he shouldn’t but he was glad Josh was blushing. He shouldn’t because he shouldn’t be accidentally flirting with him.

 

“X-Files. I have the Box Set over there.” Josh pointed to the bottom of the TV.

 

Tyler nodded, climbing over the coffee table this time before making sure to squat so he wouldn’t be bending over. Finding it, he looked over the place and saw the DVD player lower to the ground. He reluctantly got on his knees to find the DVD player, trying to keep his butt from being to high in the air. He found it, blushing madly as he heard Josh’s breath hitch with as he bent lower to press the buttons, involuntarily putting his butt higher. On his knees, he placed the CD in the DVD player, then he sat up on his knees, rolled his feet under him, steadied himself, then stood.

 

“First season good with you? I-I haven’t watched the X-Files before.” Tyler said nervously, glancing over his shoulder to see Josh staring at his ass with a pillow over his lap.

 

“Y-Yeah.” Josh stuttered out.

 

Tyler was blushing, his mouth slightly open in shock and confusion at the situation. _“I should leave. It’s just gonna get worse.”_ He thought. _“No, I said we would hang out and I need more friends than just Brendon and Dal.”_ Tyler thought, shaking his head slightly, before climbing back over the coffee table and sitting on the couch next to Josh, trying to relax. The show began playing and Tyler was thinking about how he could do everything to not invoke anything else. After a few minutes, he felt a yawn coming on for an unknown reason. He yawned, before arching his back into a stretch, his shirt riding up on his stomach and he subconsciously let out a groan that turned into a loud whine. He froze for moment, silently cursing himself as he realized how that sounded before risking a glance over at Josh, who’s eyes were closed. He was biting his lip and he opened his eyes back on the screen after a moment, hands carding through his purple hair to attempt to stay focused on the TV and Tyler cursed himself more, trying to sink into the couch and disappear. He sat up to grab his Red Bull, taking a sip and sitting back with it in his lap, resuming his trying to hide position. He watched the show for a while, his mind drifting to all the things he could do to make up for this, like leave, when he realised he needed to use the bathroom. The next thing he did, he had honestly forgotten he had his Red Bull in his lap. He stood up and his Red Bull splashed all over his shirt and pants.

 

“Shit!” He hissed, quickly picking up the can and setting it on the coffee table.

 

“I’ll uh, get paper towels.” Josh said, hurriedly getting up.

 

Josh was moving to the kitchen before Tyler could really focus and he noticed his hard-on with a dreading feeling. It was very noticeable, especially in the jeans and Tyler bit his lip, telling himself he shouldn’t admire it.

 

“I-I’m gonna go next door and get changed. I’ll be back in a moment.” He said hurriedly, and Josh made a noise of comprehension and Tyler quickly disappeared back to his apartment to change.

 

He shucked off his jeans and shirt, pulling on some leggings and a sleeveless black shirt with large arm holes. The arm holes reached up to Tyler’s sides and then stopped, leaving enough shirt.He stood in his apartment for what felt like a long time, contemplating if he should return and probably end up making things worse, or stay here and never associate with Josh again. The second one felt much better but he had just spilt Red Bull all over the man’s carpet. He might as well help with that before he decided to bury himself in embarrassment. He made his way back to Josh’s apartment, to see Josh had a towel on the floor and was sitting again, pressing his feet against the towel to get up the Red Bull.

 

“Let me get it, I dropped the drink.” Tyler said, kneeling in front of Josh and pressing his hands against the towel, soaking up the drink.

 

He looked down at the towel, not taking his eyes off of it as he soaked up the liquid. _“Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye contact.”_ He said to himself. When he felt it was pretty dry, he looked up and did exactly what he told himself not to do. He made eye contact.

 

 _"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck I made eye contact fuck."_ Tyler thought, trying to break it.

 

Josh bit his lip and tightened his grip on the pillow and Tyler hurriedly stood up, bumping the coffee table and reflexively making sure nothing fell, uttering an apology. He placed the towel on counter and took a few deep breaths. His brain was screaming for him to run back to his apartment and never leave again for fear of fucking everything up. He pushed the screaming part down, telling himself he wouldn’t fuck this up anymore and he made his way back to the couch, sitting on the total opposite side and leaning his head on his hand away from Josh, eyes focused intently on the screen.

 

It was silent except for the TV for a good long time before both of them ended up deciding to speak at the same time.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“I heard you whimpering in your room last night.”

 

Tyler choked on air, turning his face away from Josh’s as he blushed so badly and he wanted to leave. He thought they could avoid this and act like it didn’t happen, not address it like they should but no it happened. He composed himself enough to turn and face the front, suddenly overly interested in his socks and he nodded, staying silent.

 

“Why were you whimpering?” Josh breathed.

 

Tyler stayed silent, not daring answer that question and he turned his face further from Josh’s, planning an escape.

 

“Fuck, Tyler. Why were you whimpering? I know you heard me and Debby so why were you whimpering? Were you thinking of Debby?” Josh pressed and Tyler’s head whipped around to look at Josh in disbelief.

 

“No! No way!” Tyler answered all too quickly.

 

“You answered that quickly.” Josh pointed out and Tyler bit his lip, looking away.

 

He risked a look up to see Josh staring at him intently and then Josh was moving towards him. Soon, Josh was right next to Tyler, breathing heavily and Tyler looked away, trying to suppress the feelings this gave him. Suddenly, Josh’s voice was in his ear.

 

 _“Were you thinking of me?”_ Josh breathed and Tyler’s breath hitched.

 

“N-No.” Tyler hesitated, blushing and trying to mask his wavering voice.

 

“Fuck Tyler, you were thinking of me.” Josh growled and suddenly Tyler was being pressed into the couch, facing Josh wide-eyed.

 

He noticed now how Josh’s pupils were dilated, he was breathing heavy and he had a hard-on in his pants and Tyler whimpered. He quickly turned his head, biting his lip as he felt himself getting hard.

 

“What were you thinking Tyler? What was I doing?” Josh growled in Tyler’s ear.

 

Tyler squeezed his eyes closed even more and he kept telling himself to push Josh off but all he could do was grip the man’s muscled arms and try not to do anything stupid. Suddenly, Josh was gently tilting Tyler’s face towards his and their lips connected. Tyler’s eyes flew open in shock, before he closed them and eagerly kissed the purple haired man back. Josh’s kiss moved, traveling to Tyler’s jaw, then the junction of his jaw and neck and sucking a mark there and Tyler whimpered, arching his back and gripping Josh’s arms tighter. He felt himself hardening and Josh chuckled against his neck and moved away to stare at Tyler. Tyler whined quietly at the loss of Josh on his throat and Josh smirked.

 

“I think I know what I was doing.” Josh purred, causing Tyler to bite his lip in embarrassment and look away. “Don’t look away baby boy. I wanna see your face.”

 

Tyler reluctantly looked back at Josh, blushing and he made eye contact. Josh’s breath hitched and Tyler bit his lip. Josh opened his mouth to speak and Tyler leaned up, snaking a hand behind Josh’s head and bringing his head down to meet Tyler’s in a kiss. Josh gave a small moan into Tyler’s mouth and Josh deepened the kiss, tongue prodding at Tyler’s mouth, which Tyler opened slightly to allow Josh’s tongue entrance. Tyler gave a high pitched moan, carding his fingers through Josh’s purple locks and arching his back. Josh’s hand moved a hand under Tyler’s shirt, running it over his torso and nipples, causing Tyler to throw his head back and give a high whine. Josh smirked, kissing down Tyler’s neck, sucking more purple marks and Tyler whined, gripping Josh’s hair.

 

“You like that baby boy?” Josh growled.

 

“Joshie~” Tyler whimpered and Josh pulled Tyler’s shirt up, kissing from the waistband of his jeans up to his nipples.

 

He took a nipple in his mouth and Tyler attempted to hide his whine, a hand flying up to cover his mouth. With all the sensation from the touch on his nipples, when Josh’s hand grabbed his erection he nearly cried. Instead, he bit his knuckle, moaning wantonly. His other hand continued to tug at Josh’s hair and he panted.

 

“Josh please….” Tyler whimpered, looking back at Josh.

 

“Whaddya want baby boy.” Josh growled, a small ring of brown in his iris all that was left of the actual color.

 

“Stop teasing me and just-” Tyler whined, but a knock made both men go rigid.

 

“Pizza.” Came a muffled voice.

 

Josh sighed, gripping Tyler’s erection with an evil grin once more before he stood up and made his way to the door, Tyler moaning into a nearby couch cushion. Tyler leaned up to look as Josh paid, seeing the man glance over Josh’s shoulder at Tyler and raise an eyebrow before leaving hurriedly. He blushed, his stomach rumbling and it was only then he realised he was actually hungry. He stood, grabbing another Red Bull from the fridge and sitting just as Josh arrived and sat down.

 

“Stupid pizza man cock block.” Josh muttered as he opened the pizza.

 

Tyler’s stomach rumbled again as he smelled the pizza and he smiled, grabbing a piece and biting into it, eliciting a moan. He looked at Josh who glared at him and he blushed, finishing the bite.

 

“It’s good pizza!” He mumbled.

 

“Whatever.” Josh huffed and turned back to the playing show and so did Tyler, blushing profusely.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback and stuff are highly appreciated


	4. 4.

Tyler yawned, snuggled into Josh as they finished the second season of the X-Files, going onto the third. He smiled, snuggling further into Josh, who’s arm was wrapped around Tyler’s back and running through his hair absently. Tyler’s left arm was wrapped around Josh’s waist and playing with his hair, curling the locks around his fingers as he watched. His right arm lay on Josh’s chest underneath his shirt, tracing symbols into the skin lazily. He felt himself falling asleep, snuggled into Josh’s heat and then he heard a light snore and realized that the hand running through his hair had stopped, laying limply upon his head. He shifted slightly to look up at Josh and a small smile graced his lips as he saw the purple haired punk guy had fallen asleep. He giggled quietly before reaching over, grabbing the remote, pausing the show and turning off the TV. He got up cautiously and then leaned up, going to kiss Josh when something caught his eye. On the coffee table Josh’s phone had lit up and on the lock screen was a picture of him and Debby and suddenly Tyler felt sick.

 

 _“I shouldn’t have done that I shouldn’t have done that.”_ Tyler thought, moving quickly but carefully so he didn’t wake up Josh.

 

He obviously wasn’t quick or careful enough because Josh’s eyes opened and locked on him, before a warm smile spread upon his face. Tyler’s hands finished pulling away from Josh and he set them in his lap.

 

“Where are you going?” Josh mumbled sleepily, leaning towards Tyler for a kiss.

 

Tyler turned away from Josh’s kiss, feeling like he would throw up if he did, but at the same time that it would make all of it go away. He felt Josh shift, reaching for his hands and Tyler shifted away from him, avoiding looking at him, feeling tears.

 

“Ty, what’s wrong?” Josh asked gently, reaching up and tilting Tyler’s face so he was looking at the purple haired boy.

 

Tyler didn’t look at Josh and he just shook his head.

 

“We shouldn’t have done that.” Tyler said, finally managing to look up at Josh.

 

“Shouldn’t have done what?” Josh questioned and Tyler scoffed.

 

“You know. What we did like 15 minutes ago Josh.” Tyler snapped.

 

“Why shouldn’t have we? Are you straight and I was an experiment? Do you have a girlfri-” Josh began and Tyler heard him cut himself off and saw a look of realization go over his face.

 

“To answer the second question, I’m not straight. I’m hella gay, but that’s outside the point.” Tyler said. “You have Debby and I’m not gonna mess up your relationship rather than my own.”

 

“She’s gone until Monday, it’s okay Ty. It’s still Friday, we have 3 days. She doesn’t get back until like 7.” Josh said and Tyler could hear the desperation in his voice.

 

“Josh I’m not going to stay at your apartment and fuck you all weekend. I don’t do that and I didn’t think you did either.” Tyler deadpanned, beginning to stand. “Besides, I don’t want Brendon worrying about me.”

 

He stood up, stretching and uttering a loud groan of pleasure. He let his arms fall to his sides and stepped to the side so Josh could stand up. Josh stretched, making an equally loud groan and Tyler admired his abs as his sleeveless top showed off his torso. He pulled his gaze away, telling himself that it wasn’t good and he glanced back to see Josh staring at him longingly. Tyler made his way to the kitchen, deciding he should leave now.

 

“See you tomorrow Josh.” Tyler said. He grabbed his keys from the coffee table and reluctantly made his way to the door, forcing himself to go knowing it was best. Suddenly, he was grabbed by the hand and pulled back, against Josh’s chest, whom wrapped his arms around Tyler in a needy and, slightly, still sleepy embrace.

 

“Why don’t you stay the night? We both have work in the morning and we both work in the same place.” Josh suggested, Tyler leaning heavily on Josh’s sleepy warmth.

 

“Josh…” Tyler warned, feeling himself get drawn into the sleepy warmth of the other man.

 

“Pleeease.” Josh mumbled against Tyler’s neck.

 

“Fine. Only because you’re warm and fuzzy and probably great at snuggling. But only tonight.” Tyler mumbled into Josh’s chest.

 

He took a deep breath, inhaling Josh’s smell and humming contentedly. It was a smell he could get used to. He felt a pang of sadness, knowing it wasn’t one he was going to get used to. He smelled of soap, wood, and leather. It was a comforting smell and Tyler took a deep inhale again and felt Josh’s chest rumble with laughter. He wanted to get as much of it as he could.

 

“What’re you smelling there?” He chuckled.

 

Tyler buried his face deeper into Josh’s chest and hummed in happiness and slight sadness.

 

“You.” He answered simply, feeling himself getting sleepy.

 

“Do I smell good?” Josh hummed, running his hands over Tyler’s back and through his fluffy hair.

 

“Very.” Tyler nodded, breathing in deeply again and sighing with content.

 

They stood there for a moment before Tyler began melting into Josh’s arms, feeling himself falling asleep. Josh’s chest rumbled with laughter again and he swung Tyler up bridal style and proceeded to carry him towards his room. Tyler yelped, blushing before he relaxed and snuggled into Josh, yawning and grabbing a fistful of Josh’s strip of cloth shirt.

 

“You’re just like a baby….” Josh breathed, kissing Tyler’s temple.

 

“Shaddup.” Tyler huffed sleepily.

 

Josh chuckled quietly, laying Tyler down on the bed gently and tugging at the hem of Tyler’s shirt. Tyler could have fell asleep right there but he knew how uncomfortable and chafed he would be in the morning, so he arched his back and raised his arms obediently. Tyler saw Josh smile as he pulled his shirt over his head and Tyler huffed, rolling his eyes and shimmying out of the shirt, watching Josh toss it to a random corner of the room. Next Josh unzipped his pants and Tyler shimmied out of those, starfishing on the bed before rolling over onto his stomach and starfishing again.

 

“Move you ass.” Josh teased, the bed weighing down as he crawled on.

 

“But I’m comfy….” Tyler moaned childishly.

 

He didn’t see Josh’s face, but he knew there was a smirk and suddenly he was being lifted up and he squeaked in shock. Josh flopped down, bringing Tyler on top of him, his face buried in Tyler’s neck.

 

“Joooosh!” Tyler moaned childishly, flailing weakly.

 

“Whaaaaat.” Josh copied.

 

“I want to snuggle you, not lay on top of you.” Tyler pouted.

 

Josh chuckled softly before rolling onto his side, his arms still wrapped around Tyler and they lay on their sides. Tyler sighed in content and curled into Josh, shoving his chest so Josh lay flat on his back and Tyler rested his head on the crazy haired boy's chest.

 

“It’s crazy how you went from wanting to escape me to wanting to be snuggling me isn’t it.” Josh mused and Tyler swatted his arm weakly.

 

“I will leave.” Tyler tried to sound stern. “I’m only here because it’s better for work and I’m comfy.”

 

“Riiight. Now all you have to do is keep this between you and me. Deb will never know.” Josh mumbled, and Tyler heard him slipping into sleep.

 

“Y-yeah.” Tyler mumbled, feeling that sick feeling again.

 

He snuggled deeper into Josh, willing it away.

 

“Night Josh.” Tyler yawned, feeling himself slipping into sleep.

 

“Night baby boy….”

 

***************************************************

 

Tyler woke with his limbs tangled in another's and he didn’t ever remember going home with anyone last night, or even leaving the house. He blinked open his eyes and came face to face with Josh's peacefully sleeping form. He admired the boy’s beauty in his sleep before he felt like he was going to throw up. _Josh had a girlfriend. Tyler knew Josh’s girlfriend. This was his next door neighbor and he has known him for two days and he almost had sex with him yesterday and he slept at his house because- Work. Tyler gently untangled their limbs before rolling over and locating a clock and finding the time. He sighed in relief. His shift was first and didn’t start until 11:00. It was currently 9:39 and he had a few hours. He sighed, rolling back into the bed and then remembering that Josh was there. He was in Josh’s apartment, in the bed that Josh shares with his girlfriend and-_

 

 _“Fuck.”_ Tyler thought.

 

He quickly rolled out of the bed, locating his clothes on the floor with curses to himself and the world and Josh and just everything. He tripped over a pair of pants uttering a cry of shock and catching himself with his hands. He cursed himself and he heard shuffling the bed and he scoured for his shirt desperately. He looked in a pile of clothes and found it at the edge, hastily tugging it on and he began making his way to the door.

 

“Ty?”

 

Tyler paused, turning on his heels and not even looking at Josh.

 

“Our shift doesn’t start till eleven. Why you up so early?” Josh mused.

 

Tyler ran a nervous hand through his hair and took a shaky breath.

 

“Because I need to go back to my apartment. I need to get changed and I need to take an hour long ice cold shower because you have a _girlfriend_ Josh and I nearly had sex with you and I just slept in your bed!” Tyler rambled, tugging at his hair and gesturing at random points.

 

“We went over this last ni-” Josh began and Tyler shook his head.

 

“When we were half asleep Josh. Now I’m 100% awake and I know that what happened was fucked up and I just need to leave because if I don’t leave I’m going to have a panic attack and throw up and just break down and-”

 

Tyler hadn’t noticed Josh had moved from the bed until the man was hugging him gently, gripping him tight enough to mean something. Tyler was stiff, but he couldn’t stay stiff like that and he relaxed, dropping his head on Josh’s chest. Josh hummed happily for a moment before dragging Tyler with him to the bed. Josh sat on the edge, pulling Tyler comfortably in his lap. He held Tyler’s hands, comfortingly rubbing circles into his knuckles with a thumb.

 

“Deb won’t know. Just you and I, okay? It’ll be okay, calm down.” Josh murmured and Tyler nodded.

 

They sat like that for a moment before Tyler began moving. He crawled off Josh’s lap, kissing Josh on the temple and carding a hand through his hair.

  
“I seriously have to go though. I need to get changed and have a shower. I smell like you and that’s a giveaway.” Tyler smiled and Josh nodded.

 

“I should shower too. Just looking at you makes me hard.” Josh winked and Tyler noticed the tent in Josh’s boxers.

 

“I might take care of that for you.” Tyler smiled and Josh moved towards him but Tyler put a hand to his chest. “Later.”

 

Then, he made his way out, grabbing his keys and departing the apartment to go to his right next door. He went quietly, gently opening and shutting the door so he didn’t wake Brendon and Dallon. He turned, walking into the kitchen and placing his keys on the counter before turning and screaming. Brendon and Dallon were lounging on the loveseat with coffee in hands and staring at him with big grins.

 

“So, is he a top or bottom?” Brendon said and Tyler glared at him.

 

“Fuck off Brendon. You gave me a heart attack ohmygod. How do you know if I was there or somewhere else? I mean he has a girlfriend and you know I’m not like that.” Tyler huffed, leaning against the counter.

 

“Dude, we heard you leave the apartment. He’s next door and these are thin walls.” Brendon raised an eyebrow and Tyler gave a sigh of defeat.

 

“So, back to my original question.” Brendon took another sip. “Top or bottom?’

 

“What do you think?” Tyler snapped and Brendon shrugged.

 

“He’s a total top and to be honest? I would not mind if that man topped me. God damn he’s hot.” Brendon smirked, earning and smack on the arm from Dallon.

 

“I’m right here.” He huffed.

 

Brendon smiled up at his boyfriend. “I’m just sayin’ babe.” He pet Dallon’s cheek.

 

“Can I go now? I need to take a shower I feel disgusting.” Tyler said with an exasperated sigh, cocking his head and raising an eyebrow.

 

Brendon looked back at him. “Sure. I don’t wanna touch you while you’re probably still covered in-”

 

“We didn’t have sex Brendon!” Tyler squeaked. “Fucking hell, I’m not like that. He has a girlfriend and I can’t do that. We got close but then the pizza man came and interrupted it and I felt really bad afterwards. We watched the X-Files until really late last night and then I went to come back because I felt disgusted with myself but he persuaded me to stay the night and he was really comfortable and a great snuggler and that’s all!” Tyler sighed.

 

“Well, you obviously feel strongly on the topic because you don’t curse often so I’ll leave you alone.” Brendon shrugged, leaning back into Dallon and Tyler stood for a moment before nodding.

 

“Okay. I’m going to go take that shower.”  
  


*******************************************************

 

Tyler was sitting on the counter drinking some tea Brendon had made for him. Brendon and Dallon were currently chilling on the couch before they had to leave. They actually were supposed to leave 30 minutes ago but they wanted to stay with Tyler and “make sure he was okay.” Tyler had begrudgingly replied with: “It’s not like I got raped or anything. I just feel bad about myself and what I nearly did.”

 

Still, Brendon and Dallon hung around. Tyler, who was texting Jenna, would have preferred if Brendon and Dallon would have left. He knew he would find it awkward around Josh but it would be worse if Brendon and Dallon were here. If Tyler had a problem with a person, like he felt bothered by them but he was to shy to say it, Brendon and Dal would get very…..  brotherly. When he said that, he meant they would act like protective older brothers and though Dallon looked like a sweetheart, they could fuck you up. Tyler glanced at the time on his phone. It read _10:31_ and Tyler began moving. He finished his tea and began scrambling around for his stuff. Keys, wallet, shoes and then he heard a knock at the door.

 

Brendon stood up, Dallon following and they grabbed their keys and things as well. “Well, it’s time for us to go. See ya Tyler.” Brendon smiled.

 

“Guys please don’t-” Tyler began but it was too late.

 

They had opened the door and Josh stood there giving a small awkward smile.

 

“Hey guys.” He waved. “I’m here to take Ty to work.”

 

“We were just going to work.” Dallon said cheerily.

 

Tyler rolled backwards so he could look down the hallway and Josh saw him over Brendon’s shoulder. He gave a small wave and Tyler gave a shy smile.

 

 _“If you fuck around with Tyler and hurt him in any way I swear that you will regret every last thing you’ve done. Tyler’s not a fuck toy.”_ Brendon growled, not low enough for Tyler to not hear and he blushed.

 

“Well, see you Josh!” Brendon said cheerily, passing the shocked looking man and disappearing.

 

 _“Be careful with Tyler or we’ll fuck you up. He’s not something for you to play around with. You better respect him.”_ Dallon said darkly and Tyler rolled so his face was in the carpet.

 

“See ya bro.” Dallon said and Tyler heard his footsteps departing.

 

Tyler quickly finished pulling on his shoes and grabbing his things and he walked up to Josh with a ducked head.

 

“Sh-Should we go?” Tyler mumbled.

 

“Yeah.” Josh said with a wavering voice.

 

They made their way to the car, Tyler not daring look at Josh the whole walk. When they were in the car, Josh started it but didn’t move anywhere. Tyler kept himself interested with the stuff outside of the car window and he hummed to himself, trying to avoid Josh’s gaze which was burning a hole in the back of his head.

 

“I’m sorry they didn’t mean any of that they just get really protective over me. They’re like older brothers and they don’t want to see me hurt don’t take any mind to them. They won’t actually hurt you it’s just a scare tacti-” Tyler rambled, finally looking at Josh.

 

“You told them?” Josh questioned but it sounded like a demand.

 

“Josh they live with me, right next door and there are thin walls. They probably got back last night and we didn’t notice and they heard everything.They heard everything this morning and Brendon isn’t the type of person to just let something like that go he wants every last juicy disgusting detail and he’s like a brother to me and I can always tell him and Dal everything.” Tyler confessed with edge, running a hand through his hair.

 

Josh said nothing, and when Tyler looked at him, he was nodding. He had turned back to the front, his hands on the steering wheel but they still didn’t move. Tyler bit his lip, expecting an answer. Something, anything but he got nothing but a question.

 

“Is that really what you think you are to me?”

 

Tyler was caught off guard with the question. “What?”

  
  
Josh turned to him and he looked genuinely hurt. “Do you actually think I only see you as just a fuck toy? That you mean nothing to me and that I just want to fuck around with you?”  
  


Tyler swallowed thickly and shook his head. “Th-That’s what Brendon and Dallon said. I never said that.”

 

“Then what made them think that?” Josh said, more edge on his voice this time.

 

“The fact that I said you have a girlfriend and I slept over at your house Josh. The fact that we nearly had sex and you have a girlfriend that you love, Josh.” Tyler snapped. “The fact that they interpreted the story different than I told it, _Josh._ ”

 

Josh sighed in aggravation, turning around and running his hands through his hair. Tyler bit his lip. He didn’t want to argue with Josh about this. It’s the last thing he wanted to do. He sighed in exasperation, ruffling his hair and looking out the window.

 

“People don’t assume someone just wants to fuck around with someone Ty. It’s obvious when someone does and apparently I obviously wanted to fuck around with you so don’t tell me that that isn’t what you were saying to them.” Josh breathed, not looking at Tyler.

 

“Josh I never said anything like that or said anything about you wanting to fuck around with me why won’t you believe me?” Tyler cried, looking at the older boy.

 

Josh said nothing, staring down at his hands on the steering wheel. “It hurts that someone would think that Ty. Do you know how much it hurts?” Josh looked at Tyler.

 

Tyler bit his lip, before reaching out and resting his hand on Josh’s cheek and shaking his head. “Josh, I love you but I know that I can’t do this. I can’t love you while you love Debby. That’s why Brendon and Dal think I’m just a fucktoy to you Josh. I’m with you when your girlfriend isn’t around and when she is we act like it never happened and we keep it a secret. That’s not how I want it to be and like I said, I’m not that kind of person Josh.”

 

Josh nodded, biting his lip before reaching out and grabbing Tyler’s arm, pulling him suddenly forward. Tyler yelped but it was swallowed as Josh kissed him. It wasn’t rushed or needy, it was slow and meaningful and Tyler melted into it.

 

“Josh-” Tyler began before Josh swallowed his words in another kiss.

 

“How about, we go to work and later you make good on that promise for later and then we just hang out. Nothing dirty, just you, me, Dallon, and Brendon watching TV and being dudes.” Josh smiled and Tyler rolled his eyes.

 

“It’s not exactly easy to just be dudes when all four of the dudes are hella gay.” Tyler scoffed and Josh shrugged.

 

“We’ll see.” Josh pulled away. “It’ll be easy with Brendon and Dallon watching me like hawks.”

 

“True.” Tyler nodded then smacked Josh’s arm. “Now we need to get to work.”

 

Josh smiled at Tyler and Tyler felt himself get warm as they began to make their way to work.

 

*****************************************************

 

Tyler ended up making good on his promise. He didn’t mean for it to happen in the middle of his shift at work but when Josh is awkwardly walking around it’s pretty noticeable. Tyler had noticed Josh had been staring at him and later Josh had been walking around kinda bent over but he hadn’t stopped being extremely nice and normal to everyone. So when their manager came out and told them all that somebody needed to do inventory on all of their supplies, Tyler immediately volunteered himself and Josh.

 

“Why did you volunteer us to do inventory?” Josh moaned as Tyler dragged him into the store room and closed the door.

 

Tyler rolled his eyes, pulling Josh to the back of the store room and he pressed him against the wall and when he looked at Josh he was smiling.

 

“Maybe because nobody would check on us and the fact that you are painfully hard and you’re not hiding it too well.” Tyler shrugged. “And I thought I could make good on that promise from this morning.”

 

Tyler dropped to his knees and reached for Josh’s zipper before his hand was grabbed. He looked at Josh, raising a questioning eyebrow and Josh had his eyes closed and his face calm.

 

“I thought you didn’t do this type of thing?” Josh smirked.

 

Tyler smiled, rolling his eyes, before standing up and looking at Josh.

 

“If you didn’t want me to, you could’ve just said so but I made a promise I intended to keep.” Tyler turned, forgetting about the hand on his wrist. “I guess we’ll just do inventory.”

 

The hand on his wrist tightened and turned him back towards Josh, pulling him close and Tyler looked away.

 

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want it baby boy.” Josh smiled and Tyler bit his lip, dropping to his knees.

 

 _“Tyler what the fuck have you gotten yourself into.”_ He thought to himself as he unzipped and unbuttoned Josh’s pants. _“He has a **girlfriend.** ”_ A part of his brain said.

 

Tyler quieted that part of his brain as he ran his fingers over Josh’s erection and he heard the older boy's breath hitch and he gave a small smile. He pulled Josh’s pants down some more and gripped his erection through the thin fabric and Josh groaned. Tyler smirked, pull off Josh’s boxers and grabbing his dick in his hand and giving it a quick jerk, making Josh groaned and buck into Tyler’s hand.

 

“Fuck Tyler, stop shitting around.” Josh breathed and Tyler rolled his eyes.

 

“As you wish.” He mumbled.

 

He grabbed the base of Josh’s dick and took the head in his mouth, pressing his tongue to the slit and Josh moaned, threading his fingers through Tyler’s hair. Tyler smiled, then took the whole rest of Josh in his mouth, relaxing his throat as he felt Josh’s thickness in his mouth and he heard a feral moan rip from Josh and the grip on his hair tightened. Tyler couldn’t smile but he smiled inside at Josh’s reaction and then he began moving. He bobbed his head up and down, one hand gripping Josh’s waist under his shirt, the other resting on his own growing erection. He hollowed his cheeks each time his head went back up and he pressed his tongue to the slit each time he went down. Each time, Josh would moan and grab Tyler’s hair tighter. Tyler moaned as Josh had a tighter grip, leaning his head into the grip and he looked up to see Josh smirking. Tyler raised an eyebrow and the unspoken question was answered a moment later as Josh began rocking into Tyler’s mouth. Tyler gagged at first, gripping Josh’s waist tighter as Josh started to pull Tyler’s head to meet his thrusts. Tyler moaned as Josh began to take control and he looked up at Josh and he heard the other man moan along with him and he watched as Josh’s eyes squeezed shut.

 

“Fuck, Tyler” Josh moaned as Tyler hollowed his cheeks and hummed around Josh’s dick.

 

Tyler knew Josh was getting close as he began moving quicker and he was getting sloppier with his thrusts and Tyler moaned, pressing his tongue to the bottom of Josh’s dick and that was it. Josh let out a long, loud moan and Tyler moaned with him as Josh spilled down his throat and Tyler swallowed it. Tyler looked up at Josh who seemed to be coming down from his high and he watched the punk boy slip down the wall. Tyler wiped his mouth and took a few deep breaths as he stared at Josh. The other boy opened his eyes and bit his lip, looking away from Tyler and ran a hand through his messy purple hair.

  
“Sorry…” He mumbled and Tyler cocked his head in confusion.

 

“For what?”

 

Josh blushed, looking down at the floor. “For getting to rough.” He mumbled, Tyler managing to catch his gaze before Josh averted it. “I didn’t mean to. I just got too caught up in the moment and you’re mouth felt so good and-”

 

“I liked it.” Tyler blushed, looking at Josh as the other boy’s head snapped up to look at him wide-eyed.

 

“Really!?” Josh sputtered and Tyler looked away, biting his lip.

 

“Y-Yeah….” Tyler blushed, pulling his knees close to his chest and hiding his face, though he shifted, his hard making it uncomfortable.

 

“Well, who knew.” Josh scoffed. “Why are you telling me anyway? It’s not like we’re gonna do this again.” Tyler could hear the sneer and sadness.

 

Tyler stood up, offering a smile at Josh. “That’s the point.” He turned, walking to the front of the room, trying to hide his hard and grabbing the clipboard and turning to the punk man walking up behind him.

 

“So, we have to do inventory.” He smiled.

 

Josh smirked at him. “But first,” He took the clipboard, setting it down and pressing Tyler into the wall. “Let’s take care of that hard.”

 

*******************************************************************

 

Tyler lifted his head into the stream of water coming from the shower head. He enjoyed the feeling of the warm water flowing over his body and he smiled absently. He stepped out of the shower stream, shaking his head, water flicking over the already wet surfaces of the shower stall. He leaned back against the cool tile lining the wall of his bathroom. He flinched slightly at the small temperature change, his body heat soon adjusting and he leaned against it comfortably. He let the water pour over his body as he got lost in his thoughts. He thought back to what happened at work and it made him sick with himself. After he had given Josh a blow job, Josh had returned the favor, ending up only using his hand because Tyler didn’t want Josh to go from sucking him to kissing Debby.

 

Tyler sighed, opening his eyes which he didn’t remember closing and he grabbed the soap. He quickly washed his body and face, trying to distract himself from his thoughts. Whenever he got in the shower he found himself thinking too hard and he never liked it. He grabbed the shampoo, quickly washing his hair before shutting off the water. He lingered in the shower for a moment longer before opening the door to the shower and grabbing his towel. He sicked in a breath as the cool air from the apartment hit him as the warmth of the shower stall escaped. He quickly wrapped the towel around his shoulders, shivering as he stepped out of the shower stall. He dried himself, scratching his hair violently to rid it of the water. He wrapped the towel around his waist, padding into his bedroom to get some clothes. He heard a whistle as he walked into the room and he nearly dropped the towel in shock, eyes wide as he whipped his head around to meet Brendon’s eyes.

 

He visibly relaxed, exhaling and placing his free hand over his heart before glaring at the older man. “Jeez Brendon, nearly gave me a heart attack.” He grumbled. “Why are you in my room anyway?”

 

Brendon smiled at the younger boy and jabbed a thumb in the direction of the main area. “Josh is here. He wants to come in and hang out.”  
  


Tyler sucked in a breath, cursing to himself and beginning to move to his drawers. “That’s cool. L-Let him in. We’re hanging out here tonight.”

 

“Since when?” Brendon scoffed.

 

Tyler turned to him, giving him a bitch face and sighing. “I texted you about it earlier. Josh wanted to hang out with us tonight.”

 

Brendon’s eyes rolled up as if to look at something and Tyler gave an exasperated sigh before Brendon looked to comprehend.

  
“That’s right! Okay cool. We’re all good with pizza and beer then?” Brendon suggested and Tyler rolled his eyes.

 

“Yes.” He muttered. “But if you’re going out to get beer, get me some Red Bull. You know I don’t drink.” He quickly added.

 

Brendon made to move, before pointing at Tyler and nodding. “Right.” He turned and disappeared down the hallway and Tyler sighed.

 

He crossed his room to the door, closing it so he wasn’t walked in on again and he turned, moving back to his drawers and pulling out some clothes. He pulled on a pair of black boxers, his black sweatpants, and a black t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. He grabbed his sweatshirt incase he needed it and he draped his towel over a rack before exiting his room and making his way to the lounge. Brendon was gone, obviously out shopping for the beer and Dallon was chatting lively with Josh, who looked a little cautious. Tyler saw Josh’s face relax into relief as he caught Josh’s gaze and he gave a small smile, walking over and dropping onto the couch next to the punk man.

 

“Hey Tyler! I was just telling Josh about work.” Dallon smiled.

 

Tyler nodded. “What happened?”

 

“Well, from what I heard,” Josh said turning slightly to face Tyler. “He and Brendon were getting coffee for the staff and when they got to the place Brendon ran into the new intern and spilled coffee all over his shirt. Then you walked in and I stopped paying attention.” Josh smiled.

 

Tyler blushed, looking down and then at Dallon. Dallon was glaring at the back of Josh’s head like he wanted to kill him and when Tyler managed to catch his eye, he gave him a look of _Give him a break_. Dallon shrugged and then Tyler gestured to the older man.

 

“Continue.”

 

Dallon nodded before launching back into his explanation of the day. Tyler made himself look interested in the story and noticed Josh turn and look at Dallon. Tyler let himself get enveloped in his thoughts. He thought about how to keep this night normal, especially with 3 hella gay guys in one room and a bi one as well. Pizza was always good, it distracted people from stuff because it was so good. Beer he wanted everyone to try and avoid as much as they could because he didn’t want Brendon and Dallon getting drunk and fucking against the wall. He didn’t want Josh drunk either (did he drink?) because that might not turn out well. He was pulled from his thoughts as the door slammed shut and Brendon made his entrance.

 

“I’m back!” Brendon sang with a smile and Tyler prayed he hadn’t (somehow) already gotten drunk.

  
Brendon set the boxes of pizza on the coffee table and made his way to the kitchen, placing the beer on the counter. Tyler watched as Dallon eagerly reached for the pizza, spreading the boxes out and opening them up to reveal a pepperoni pizza, a meat lovers pizza, and a bacon and pepperoni pizza.

 

“So, what are we gonna watch?” Josh questioned and Tyler shrugged.

 

Brendon dropped himself on the couch between Dallon and Josh, forcing Josh to shuffle closer to Tyler and Tyler to shuffle closer to the arm of the couch. “I was thinking Insidious.”

 

Tyler shrugged. “That’s cool.”

 

Dallon turned and looked at Tyler, eyebrows raised in question. “I thought you hated scary movies.”

 

Tyler huffed, blushing slightly and looking down. “Only when I’m alone.”  
  


He heard the other 3 men laugh and he rolled his eyes, standing from the couch and making his way to the kitchen, grabbing a Red Bull from the fridge.

 

“Ty, grab me and Dal a beer!” Brendon whined,

 

Tyler muttered something and he heard Brendon say something before he yelled again: “And Josh!”

 

Tyler huffed, sticking his Red Bull under his arm and yelping at the cold on his skin. He pulled 3 beers from the box before padding back to the couch. He handed out the beers to their respective owners before dropping on the couch and setting his Red Bull on the coffee table. He saw Brendon with the remote and navigating to Insidious on Netflix. He sighed, swallowing thickly and screaming internally at how bad of an idea this was. _“Why did you have to agree to the horror movie. Why couldn’t you have suggested a comedy?”_ Tyler groaned inwardly.

He saw the movie starting and noticed Dallon get up and shut off the lights before dropping back into his seat. Tyler tried to sink into the couch, 100% regretting this decision.

 

*******************************************************************

 

 _“Stupid horror movie.”_ Tyler thought as he sit, gripping Josh’s shirt like his life depended on it. His legs were thrown across the punk man’s lap and he had his arms wrapped around his waist, gripping his shirt. Josh’s arm was lazily thrown across Tyler’s back, gripping his shoulder, in what Tyler felt was reassurance, every time Tyler would hide his face in his chest. Each time a jump scare would come up, Tyler would grip Josh’s shirt tighter, ducking his head against the man’s chest and pulling him closer, squeezing his eyes shut. He could tell Josh found it amusing because he heard the man chuckle every single time.

 

Tyler thought this movie was going on forever and when he glanced at Brendon and Dallon, he saw the latter eyeing Josh. Tyler sighed, feeling immensely horrible that he was practically snuggling the purple haired man while said man had a girlfriend that was away. He groaned to himself and luckily it was masked by a scream in the movie. After a few more minutes of horror, the movie ended and Tyler quickly pulled himself from Josh, reaching for the remote and going back to the Netflix home screen.

 

“Let’s watch a comedy.” Tyler suggested.

 

Brendon snorted. “Because you’re still too scared to watch a horror movie.”

  
Tyler blushed at his teasing and glared at him.

 

“Well I apologize if I want to lighten the mood.” He shot back, before noticing the beer bottles on the coffee table. “How much have you drank anyway?”

 

Tyler watched as Brendon counted on his fingers before shrugging and Tyler let out a groan of frustration.

 

“No more beer.” Tyler stated, dropping the remote in Josh’s lap and collecting the beer bottles. “Josh, chose a funny movie.”

 

“Aww c’mon Mom.” Brendon whined, and Tyler ignored him with a roll of his eyes.

 

“I don’t want you drunk and messing up a perfectly normal night.” Tyler growled when Brendon followed him up to the counter.

 

“It’s not, nor was it ever going to be normal if you put 3 gay guys and a bi guy in one room with beer.” Brendon snorted his reply and Tyler glared at him.

 

He turned away and he heard beer bottles clink together, whipping around to see Brendon dropping himself onto the couch and handing Josh and Dallon a beer bottle each. He noticed that Josh had a small gathering of beer bottles as well and he groaned inwardly. He stalked back over to the group, collecting Josh’s bottles and glaring at him, the man giving him a grin and a wink. Tyler rolled his eyes, walking back into the kitchen and placing the bottles on the counter with the others as a reminder to put them in the recycling later. Grabbing a Red Bull, he made his way back to the 3 other men, sitting down next to Josh and leaning against the arm of the couch and opening the Red Bull with one hand.

 

“We ready? Everybody settled?” Josh asked.

 

Tyler nodded, Brendon and Dallon both replying with yes’ that bordered too loud. He sighed as Josh started the movie, grumbling to himself about how it was going exactly how he didn’t want it to go (minus the fucking.) As the movie progressed, Tyler heard allot of movement, but chose to ignore it. After a moment, his curiosity took over and he glanced down the couch to see Brendon and Dallon making out and he cursed out loud. He reached, grabbing the remote and pausing the movie and standing up.

 

“Well, I think this concludes our night.” Tyler said.

 

Josh sighed. “The movie isn’t even over.” Josh whined, setting his half empty beer bottle on the table.

 

Tyler shifted his gaze to Josh. “I don’t care. Brendon and Dallon are drunk making out which will lead to them having sex and I’d rather them not while we’re right here.”

 

Josh smiled, his hand reaching and resting on Tyler’s thigh, rubbing it. “Well then you can stay at my place.”

 

Tyler grabbed Josh’s hand, dropping it back into his lap and glaring at him.

 

“You’re drunk too. I’m not going to your apartment, I’m staying here to clean up this mess.” Tyler sighed, then quietly added to himself: “This is why I don’t drink.”

 

Josh pouted and Tyler returned it with a glare, pulling the older man up.

 

“C’mon, you have to go.” Tyler pressed, beginning to usher the punk man to the door.

 

Josh let out a sigh similar to that of a pouting child. “You’re no fun.”

 

“I’m sensible, unlike you idiots.” Tyler huffed, pulling open his door. “Now, go.”

 

Josh turned to him, giving him a pleading look. Tyler just stared at him, stone faced and he smiled inwardly as Josh gave a defeated sigh. Tyler opened his mouth to say goodbye, but the words were swallowed as Josh kissed him, desperately and drunkenly. Tyler kissed the punk man back, tasting the alcohol on his lips before pushing him off gently.

 

“Bye Josh.” Tyler said, a smile somehow having found it’s way to his face.

 

Josh smiled back. “Bye Tyjo.” He lingered for a moment, before moving as Tyler shoved him slightly.

 

Tyler smiled inwardly as the man walked backwards, smiling dopily as he made his way back to his apartment. Josh blew him a kiss and Tyler rolled his eyes, catching it and returning it to entertain the drunk man. He continued to watch Josh as he saw the man manage to open his door and walk inside. As Tyler was closing the door he heard a scream and he bolted from his apartment to Josh’s, bursting into the apartment to see if everything was okay.

 

“Josh!?” He called as he emerged from the hallway and he stopped in his tracks.

 

Josh turned to him, his face changing from calm and relieved to scared as Tyler made eye contact with him.

 

“False alarm, nothing's wrong.” Josh sighed, but Tyler was still rigid.

 

“Hey Tyler!” The person said and Tyler forced a smile.

  
“Hey Debby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY WROTE THE ENDING TO THIS CHAPTER AND I FEEL LIKE I COULD'VE SPLIT THIS THING INTO SO MANY CHAPTERS BUT I FEEL LIKE AT THE SAME TIME IT WOULDN'T WORK
> 
> again: Comments and stuff are appreciated :D


	5. 5.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this necessary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't updated. School, writers block, my generally horrible case of procrastination and laziness. I'll try to update but mind you there will be long breaks between chapters.

Tyler felt like he couldn't breathe, he couldn't believe Debby was back. It was only Saturday, they had at least one more day. Panic surged up as he realised she probably heard him and Josh. The feeling of breathlessness got stronger and then Tyler was having a panic attack, short gasps for breath in vain as the oxygen managed to slip out of his grasp. His hand reached out, the wall becoming its contact and holding him up. His legs were no help and collapsed, his body dropping against the wall and helping him slide to the floor. Voices were in his ear, his eyes were shut tight in an attempt to calm down. He grasped at something better than the wall to hold him into reality and calm. The voices he heard were distant and muffled, as if he was underwater. 

 

It’s how he felt.

 

He felt like he was drowning gasping desperately for air only for his mouth to be filled with water. He couldn’t swim to the surface and something was holding him under the water, trying to kill him.

 

“Tyler!?” He heard over and over again.

 

They were calling for him. Trying to pull him out. The worried voices of Josh and Debby repeated, sometimes followed by “What’s happening to him?” He felt his lungs screaming for air, needing it desperately but his throat was tight. A hand gripped his wrist tightly, making him open his eyes,staring Brendon right in the eyes. Brendon stuffed something into Tyler’s hand, his voice distantly telling Tyler to use it. He glanced down, seeing an inhaler in his hand and he shook it furiously, putting it to his mouth and breathing in the medicinal oxygen. His throat relaxed and his grip on the wall loosened. The relief that swept over his body as he breathed again was amazing. He slouched against the wall, closing his eyes and breathing again as he was pulled to the surface of the water.

 

“Tyler?” Brendon said, cupping Tyler’s cheek. “Are you okay?”

 

Tyler opened his eyes in response and nodded weakly, his body and mind too tired from the panic attack.

 

His eyes closed again and all he wanted to do was sleep. He felt himself get lifted bridal style, eyes opening momentarily to see it was Dallon holding him. Feeling safe, he attempted to curl into Dallon, wanting to fall asleep right there. And, he did.

 

\--------

 

Tyler blinked open his eyes, his bedroom coming into focus immediately. Groggily, he sat up, pushing himself back so his back rested on the headboard. He ran his hands through his hair and over his face before dropping them limply by his sides. Before he could think out loud as to how he got here, Dallon walked in the room. Upon seeing Tyler awake, Dallon smiled.

  
“You’re finally awake.” Dallon smiled. “How are you feeling?” Dallon padded over to the bad and sat down next to Tyler, looking him over.

 

“Finally awake?” Tyler mumbled. “I’m fine, just tired, why? How long have I been asleep? What happened last night.”

 

Dallon looked at Tyler in disbelief, then it melted into understanding. “You don’t remember.” He said softly. “Well, you had a panic attack. You saw Debby and for some reason you started having a massive panic attack. You really freaked out Josh and Debby, they didn’t know what was happening and you wouldn’t respond to anything. It really sobered Brendon and I though, because as soon as we saw you we could think perfectly. I told Debby and Josh to just back up and Brendon went and got the inhaler. You used it and were fine but you fell asleep in my arms before I could get you here. You were out like a light.” Dallon laughed.

 

“Oh, that’s right.” Tyler mumbled, remembering now and he shuffled awkwardly. “Well, where are they?”

 

“Brendon went to work and I think Debby did as well. I don’t know Josh’s girlfriends day plan so I could care less.” Dallon shrugged. “And Josh is, out I guess. He left an hour or so ago. I heard him leave.”

 

“What time is it anyway?” Tyler yawned.

 

“About,” Dallon turned to check the clock. “twelve forty-five.”

 

“Twelve-!” Tyler gasped, then let his body relax.

 

He lifted his hands to his face and sighed loudly.

 

“I just got a job and I’ve already missed a day.” Tyler moped. “He’s gonna think I’m a slacker and fire me.”

 

Tyler felt Dallon hug him. “Don’t worry about that. I’m sure Debby will explain to your boss why you aren’t here. It’s all cool.”

 

“Or she just won’t say anything because she thinks I’m a boyfriend stealer.” He frowned.

 

Tyler tensed, remembering how Debby had been in her apartment when Josh got back and she probably heard everything and-

 

“Tyler, calm down.” Dallon’s stern voice broke his thoughts.

 

He hadn’t even realised his breathing had quickened and he had begun panicking. His attention turned to Dallon and he attempted to calm his breathing.

 

“Debby probably knows, Dallon.” He whimpered. “She probably knows that Josh loves me and that I’ve been with him and that I love Josh and-”

 

“I don’t want to ruin their relationship. I don’t want Debby to hate me. I just want to be friends with Josh and not mess up anything.” Tyler sniffled, a few stray tears falling down his cheeks.

 

“Get yourself together Ty.” Dallon sighed. “If she does know, I don't think she'll embarrass you. I think she'll be an adult about it and talk to you in private.”

 

Tyler nodded, thinking over how the situation would go and how it would be civil. The thought calmed him down and he took a deep breath. “Is there any breakfast?”

 

Dallon rolled his eyes and slipped out of the bed. “I should’ve known you would be hungry.”

 

Tyler gave a small smile and pulled himself out of the bed, following Dallon to the kitchen. He sat down at the breakfast bar as Dallon pulled a plate of food from the fridge and stuck it in the microwave.

 

“So, since you’re all good, I’m gonna go to work. Brendon told me he got someone to cover for me but I don’t want to start work with my boss thinking I have a penchant for missing it.” Dallon grabbed his messenger bag and keys, giving a smile to Tyler.

 

Tyler frowned at the older man. “You’re an ass, did you know that?”

 

Dallon laughed as he made his way to the door, waving at Tyler. “See ya.”

 

“I hate you!” Tyler yelled after Dallon.

 

“Love you too!” Sounded from behind the door, then Tyler was alone.

 

Tyler exhaled, humming to himself as he ate his breakfast. He felt the ravenous ache in him waning as he finished his food. Standing, he set the plate in the sink, running water over it before consenting to leaving it there for later. He glanced at the empty living area before him and decided he should clean up. The problem with that was, there was actually nothing to clean. He threw his head back and let out a sigh of pure exasperation. He decided to work on music. 

 

The thing about Tyler is that, he loved music. More than he loved everything else in fact. He generally played music when he was alone, because he liked to play it for himself. Also, he didn’t think anyone else would like it. He’s kept it from everyone. The only person to ever hear it was himself.

 

He trotted into his room, throwing open the closet and pulling out his keyboard. He set it on the bed before turning back to the closet to retrieve the stand for it. Fishing it out, he set it up by the window, dragging over his desk chair. He sat, letting his hands rest on the keys, a calm feeling rushing over him. He looked out of his window, the area of LA they were in spreading out ahead. He saw the main part of the city to the right, shops and other apartments to his left and straight ahead. He admired the look of it, before focusing back on his keyboard. He thought for a moment, deciding on a tune he had been thinking of, then began to press the keys. 

 

He had been secretly playing music for a while now. 6 years to be exact. Since he was 16. It always got him through tough moments in life.

 

He hummed along to the tune, making a mental note of what he pressed, before he stopped, letting his hands drop to his lap. He stood, going to his backpack and pulling out a folder of empty sheet music. He sat back at the keyboard and began scribbling down the notes. He gave a contented sigh as he finished, setting it down and beginning to play again. In the middle of the tune, someone knocked at the door.

 

“It’s probably Brendon or Dallon.” Tyler initially thought.

 

But then he realised it's the middle of the day and they would both have their keys.

 

Standing up, he made his way to the front door. He stepped up and opened it quickly, Josh’s raised fist appearing along with a shocked expression.

 

“Josh?” Tyler breathed.

 

“Uh, yeah.” Dropping his hand, Josh gave an awkward smile.

 

Tyler opened the door slightly and leaned against it, looking Josh over.

 

“Why… are you here?” He frowned.

 

Josh looked down and ran his hand through his purple locks.

 

“Uh, I uh” Josh sighed and looked up at Tyler. “I wanted to see if you were okay.”

 

Tyler drew himself up at the comment. He put on a face of disinterest but inside, he was ecstatic. He was so happy to see Josh, so relieved he would still care even after they almost got caught.

 

They almost got caught.

 

_ They almost got caught. _

 

Tyler's relief and happiness quickly dissipated and turned into worry and anxiety.

 

“Obviously, I'm fine.” Tyler said blandly.

 

Josh looked hurt at the words and Tyler's heart ached a little.

 

“Y-Yeah… Obviously.” Josh mumbled, standing up straight but avoiding looking at Tyler.

 

They stood their in silence for a moment before Tyler decided to end it.

 

“I'm gonna close the door.” He mumbled, shuffling awkwardly. “See you at work.” 

 

“I heard you playing the piano.” Josh’s voice sounded just before Tylee closed the door.

 

He froze, swallowing thickly. Opening the door slowly, he looked at Josh who was biting his lip, hands stuffed deep into his pockets.

 

“You did.” It was more of a demand for an answer than a question.

 

Josh nodded and looked at Tyler. “Yeah.” He smiled. “You sounded great.”

 

The digested butterflies in Tyler’s stomach resurrected and began fluttering around again. He blushed and looked away.

 

“Thanks.” Tyler said simply.

 

They were silent again.

 

“Tyler-” Josh began, and Tyler’s gaze focused back on him.

 

“I'm sorry about last night. I told myself not to get drunk but you were so close to me and the only thing I could do to distract myself was drink.” Josh blurted out. “Plus, Brendon and Dallon kept putting a beer in front of me every time I finished one.”

 

Tyler opened his mouth a few times before he formulated a reply. “It's-It's okay. I don't blame you-”

 

“But it's not okay. I shouldn't have-” Josh interrupted, but paused looking around the hallway.

 

“I shouldn't have hit on you or tried to do anything.” He sighed, shaking his hands. “I shouldn't have drank as much as I did, and I shouldn't have kissed you and tried to bring you back to my apartment.”

 

Tyler's lips pressed together in a thin line and his grip on the door tightened as he tried with all of his might to not throw himself on Josh and hug him to death.

 

“I forgive you, it's fine.” Tyler dismissed the apology. “It was the alcohol.”

 

The look Josh gave him was half relief and half disconcertion. His hand pulls through his hair again and Tyler watched as he looked around the hall and seemed to think.

 

Tyler opened his mouth to say something but then Josh’s lips were covering his, one hand on the side of his face, the other gripping Tyler's arms. As soon as it started it was over and Josh was waving at Tyler awkwardly.

 

“See you at work.” He mumbled, turning and making his way to his apartment, shortly disappearing inside.

 

Tyler stood at the door stunned, not believing Josh just did that. It took a moment before he was closing the door, walking back into his apartment, and dropping onto the couch.

 

He couldn't  _ believe _ Josh took the chance to kiss him in the hall. 

 

It was registering in his mind and he just decided to believe it actually didn't happen. Tyler replayed everything that just happened and groaned as he remembered that Josh had heard him playing the keyboard. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and frowned.

 

Standing, he made his way to his room and commenced to put away the keyboard. He gently packed it and put it away, hiding it in the closet, then grabbed his hoodie (despite the fact that it was probably boiling hot outside) and keys, jamming his feet into his shoes then leaving his apartment. He closed the door softly enough, then strode down the hall.

 

He was gonna go to work. He had nothing to do, and he wanted to distract himself from Josh and going to work and seeing Debby would help him out. Seeing Debby would make him feel bad and want to stay away from Josh, which is what he needed. He dropped into his car, slammed the door shut, turned it on and drove.

 

\------------------

 

Tyler ended up doing more than just going to work. He ended up going out afterwards for a drive, and ended up at a bar. He ended up shitfaced after 2-3 drinks and making out with a guy in the bathroom. He ended up getting a ride home, the guy not wanting him to drive in his state. He ended up getting walked up to his apartment, giggling, hiccuping, and leaning all over the guy. He then ended up in so much trouble with Brendon and Dallon.

 

Now, he sat in the living room, the next day, a horrible hangover making his head throb. Three empty bottles of water were on the coffee table and his attention was focused on his hands. Brendon and Dallon sat on the coffee table staring at him, silence hanging in the air.

 

“What the fuck Tyler.” Brendon finally said.

 

Tyler bit his lip as an answer.

 

“No, actually, what the fuck.” Brendon said, leaning back. “You're gone when we get home, we assume you've just gone out for a walk, but then it's 2 in the fucking morning, and you're trying to get in the apartment shitfaced and hanging off a guy like a necklace.”

 

Tyler sniffled.

 

“Tyler,” Brendon said sternly. “What the fuck?”

 

“Brendon,” Dallon sighed. “Calm down.”

 

Tyler exhaled and looked up at them, maintaining eye contact for just a moment before he averted his eyes.

 

“I-I don't know.” Tyler started. “I did go to work. I had nothing to do and I had too much on my mind, so I went to work. And then, I decided to go for a drive cause I didn't want to come back. Then I ended up at a bar.”

 

“Really.” Brendon sighed and Tyler nodded.

 

“So, I decided to have a drink. Then I had another, and then everything was fuzzy by the third drink. Some guy hit on me and we ended up making out in the bathroom. I then realised I needed to come back because you guys would be worried and the guy offered to drive me home. At first I wasn't intent on bringing the guy inside but when he started walking me up I decided “Why the hell not. It's not like I'm with anyone.” So we got to the apartment and I couldn't put in my key and then you guys opened the door and, yknow.” Tyler bit his lip.

 

He looked up, Brendon had a hand over his mouth in thought and Dallon was staring at him and chewing on his lip.

 

“Now that we know what you did, why did you do it.” Dallon said softly.

 

It kinda bothered Tyler that they were acting like worried parents. They needed to act like his friends and just chew him out for it then make a joke. They shouldn't be sitting here and talking to him about it like he's a troubled child.

 

Tyler sighed again. “I dunno. I just-” He frowned. “I just wanted stuff off my mind. I didn't plan on getting drunk.”

 

Brendon snorted. “Nobody plans on getting drunk.”

 

“You and Dallon do.” Tyler shot back.

 

Brendon shrugged in agreement.

 

“What did you want off your mind.” Dallon rolled his eyes at Brendon.

 

Tyler bit his lip and wrung his hands.

 

“Was it what happened last night?” Dallon pressed.

 

Tyler didn't want to tell them. It wasn't a bad thing, all it was was that Josh kissed him in the hallway. That's it. And everything he had done with Josh over the week. It has only been a week.

 

“Tyler.” Dallon barked, pulling the younger man from his thoughts.

 

He bit his lip and looked away. “It's everything. All the shit I've done with Josh behind Debby’s back, pretending nothing is happening.” He swallowed. “And Josh kissed me yesterday. In the hallway where anybody could have seen-”

 

“What!?” Brendon and Dallon cried, standing up suddenly and startling Tyler.

 

“Calm down!” Tyler hissed.

 

“But he-” Brendon began.

 

“Yes, I know. Shut up.” Tyler mumbled.

 

“He came over to see how I was and then when I went to close the door he said he heard me playing the piano and then he apologised and it was awkward and then he kissed me and left.” He blurted out.

 

“You play the piano?” Dallon said and Tyler nodded.

 

“Since when?” Brendon pressed.

 

“Since I was 16.” He blushed.

 

Brendon’s eyes widened. “And you didn't tell us?”

 

“Nor anyone.” Tyler shrugged.

 

“How come?” Dallon raised an eyebrow.

 

Tyler shuffled. “Afraid people wouldn't like it.”

 

Dallon nodded, then shook his head. “That’s beside the point. So you got drunk because of Josh?”   
  


Tyler’s temper was getting the best of him and before he could stop himself he was yelling. “Yes! That’s what happened! Now can you stop acting like my frickin parents and act like friends?” He stood up suddenly. “You shouldn’t be giving me a talk, you should just chew me out, punch me in the arm, tell me not to do it again, then go on with life!”

 

Brendon was staring at him with a blank expression. Dallon was just biting his lip.

 

The room was awkwardly quiet after Tyler finished his rant and when Brendon and/or Dallon failed to respond, he balled his fists, turned on his heel and headed for his room.

 

“Tyler where-” Brendon started and Tyler turned to him, glaring.

 

“I’m just going to my room okay!? Do you need to follow me so I don’t escape and go back down to the bar?” Tyler snapped, ignoring the look of hurt on his friends face.

 

“No… sorry.” Brendon muttered.

 

Tyler took that as his cue to turn on his heel, stalk back into his room and slam the door. 

 

Adrenaline from frustration caused him to pace his room and think about his life. He paced the room for what seemed like hours before he tired and lay on his bed. 

 

He cried.

 

He cried out of frustration for everything.

 

He cried because he was sad.

 

He cried because he didn’t know what else to do.

 

After he cried, he thought of nothing, just stared at the ceiling blankly.

 

He didn’t notice as the door to the apartment open, someone (Brendon) shout angrily, someone else (Dallon) yell at Brendon before talking to someone else. He didn’t hear Brendon and Dallons door slam only moments after the front door did. What he noticed was someone opening his door and walking in gently. His head turned lazily to the side and his eyes came in contact with Josh. He was wearing a long sleeved loose gray top, the sleeves going over his hands and his fingers just sticking out at the ends. Despite the length of the sleeves, Josh seemed to be tugging the sleeves further down, as if to cover his hands. Tyler’s eyes roamed over the top before finding their way to Josh’s eyes. He looked worried, sorry, and nervous. He gave a smile that didn’t reach his eyes and stepped closer to the bed when Tyler said nothing.

 

“Hey.” Josh mumbled, standing by the edge of the bed, still toying with his sleeves.

 

“Hey.” Tyler breathed, no energy to talk.

 

Josh experimentally sat on the edge of the bed, but Tyler just scooted over and rolled over to face Josh. He watched as Josh rolled onto the bed and faced him. They said nothing, just looked at each other silently. Josh moved, leaning forward, placing a hand on Tyler’s cheek and pressing his lips gently to his forehead.

 

“I’m sorry.” He breathed.

 

Tyler nodded, wrapping his arms lazily around Josh’s middle and gently pulling him closer. Josh wrapped an arm around Tyler’s shoulders, the other wriggling its way under Tyler’s head so Tyler’s head rested on it.

 

“I’m sorry for-” Josh began but Tyler cut him off gently.

 

“Just,” He murmured, leaning up and gently pressing his lips to Josh’s. “hush.” He slid closer to Josh, not wanting this moment to be ruined.

  
Josh closed his mouth and nodded, turning so he was on his back and Tyler’s head rested on his chest. Josh brought up a hand and carded it through Tyler’s hair lazily, not knowing what else to do. Tyler hummed happily as Josh toyed with his hair, feelings content with how they were. Josh’s lips pressed to his hair, sitting for a moment, before he pulled back and rested his chin on Tyler’s head. They lay like that for who knows how long before they both found themselves in the best sleep they had had for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the top he's wearing is basically that christmas jersey he was wearing except it doesn't have the design


	6. 6.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chill stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHMYGOD I FINALLY UPDATED  
> you can 100% blame me and my dan howell level of procrastination  
> also school and stuff  
> but I FINALLY updated this  
> this is sorta a filler chapter where nothing really happens, it's a calm thing, tyler feelings better  
> next chapter might be worse with some things or better with happy stuff happening  
> you'll know when i update next month (that's a joke(or not))  
> but yeah here you go

When Tyler woke up, he was pretty sure it was around 8 o’clock the next day. The sun was low in the sky, where it would be in early morning or late at night. It streamed through the windows, over him and the person whom he was staring at. He stared at the familiar features, the crazy pink cotton candy hair, the splash of freckles, and it hit him. His eyes widened as he realised that he yet again, was with Josh in a bed. He felt the panic overtake him again, but then he was staring into two perfectly golden brown eyes. Josh’s hand under Tyler’s head gently stroked the younger man’s forehead. Josh must have sensed his panic, because the older man simply kissed Tyler on the forehead, murmuring an “It’s okay.” into his skin.

 

Tyler relaxed at the tender gesture, his shoulder’s slumping and eyes closing as he leaned into the touch of Josh. Josh’s other hand was rubbing circles into his hip with a thumb and Tyler was serene. Tyler stared at Josh, the latter staring back, his eyes calm and he saw happiness in them. Tyler gave a small, smile. They lay there, comfortably close, calm, and happy, neither saying a word.

 

Tyler closed his eyes, snuggling closer to Josh. “I wish I could love you Josh.” Tyler murmured, breaking the silence.

 

He felt Josh’s head move, before a kiss was being pressed to his head. “And why can’t you?” Josh responded softly.

 

Tyler inhaled deeply, smelling the scent of Josh, taking it in. “Because you have Debby. I shouldn’t love you, and I can’t because you’re with someone and I’m not that type of person.” Tyler buried his face deeper into Josh’s chest despite his words.

 

Josh kissed Tyler on the head again and rubbed circles into his hips with his thumb, and Tyler just hummed.

 

“Well, that doesn’t stop me from loving you.” Josh whispered into Tyler’s hair.

 

Tyler just hummed, eyes closed as he was curled against the man he loved, the man he wasn’t allowed.

 

\- - - - - - - - -

 

Tyler blinked open his eyes, not aware he had fallen asleep and he found the warm presence of Josh was gone. He frowned, sitting up and turning to grab his phone from the night stand. He turned it on, checking the time to see it was five minutes past noon. He frowned deeper, but was kinda relieved Josh let him sleep that long. He withdrew himself from his bed, not bothering to change his clothes as he left the room and padded sleepily into the living room.

 

“Morning sunshine.” Brendon chirped.

 

Tyler just grunted and let himself drop onto the couch. “Can I have some coffee.” Tyler sighed, looking over his shoulder into the kitchen at Brendon.

 

The older boy was rummaging through the fridge, for what Tyler guessed, was something to eat.

 

“Sure.” Brendon said, then closed the fridge and smiled at Tyler. “It’s right there help yourself.”

 

Tyler frowned deeper at Brendon, before standing up and trudging into the kitchen.

 

“I hate you.” He poured himself some coffee.

 

“Aww, thank you.” Brendon teased, walking past Tyler and dropping onto the couch, ripping open a packet of something.

 

Tyler grumpily grabbed his coffee and sat back down on the couch, immediately thinking about other things. Other things being Josh.

 

“Josh left about an hour ago.” Brendon said blandly, as if it didn’t matter.

 

Tyler’s head jerked up to focus on Brendon rather than on a random spot on the floor.

 

“Oh.. Did he tell you why?” Tyler murmured, shifting his gaze to his coffee.

 

He heard Brendon shifting in his seat. “He said he was gonna ‘get going’. He ‘needed to get back to his apartment because Debby might be worried about him and he didn’t want you to wake up and freak out again.’ And then he left.”

 

Tyler bit his lip and nodded. He wasn’t hurt by the information, he understood that Josh was trying to keep things smooth and Tyler admired his efforts.

 

“Okay.” Tyler mumbled.

 

“You’ve got the 1 o’clock shift at Chipotle by the way.” Brendon stood up, discarding whatever he had.

 

“Fuck.” Tyler grumbled, standing up and looking at the microwave clock.

 

It now read twelve-thirty and Tyler gave an exasperated sigh.

 

“I’m gonna go take a shower.” Tyler called over his shoulder as he ran to his room, closing the door after himself.

 

\- - - - - - - - - -

  
  


After a quick 15 minute shower and a scramble to get on some suitable clothes, Tyler was out the door and in his car on the way to work. He parked quickly and rushed in and into the back as the digital clock on his phone switched to 1 o'clock.

 

“You were almost late.” Josh spoke, making Tyler jump.

 

“Jesus christ, don’t do that.” Tyler frowned, pulling on his apron and tying it.

 

“Do what?” Josh leaned against the doorframe as Tyler clocked in.

 

“Scare me like that.” Tyler mumbled as he walked past Josh to the counter to work.

 

“I didn’t do it on purpose. You’re just such a spaz that you got startled.” Josh laughed, standing behind Tyler.

 

“Welcome to Chipotle, what can I get you?” Tyler spoke to the customer.

 

As the customer spoke and Tyler worked on their order, he addressed Josh stood to his left, who was waiting to do the second half of the customer's order.  “I’m not a spaz. You were just quiet.”

  
Josh chuckled and shook his head. “If you insist.”

 

Tyler rolled his eyes and slid the order to Josh and looking up at the next customer.

 

“Welcome to Chipotle, what can I get you?”

 

\- - - - - - - - - -

 

Tyler sat in the corner of the restaurant for his lunch break, unwrapping his burrito and taking a bite out of it. He stared out the window as he chewed, thinking about nothing in particular, just whatever floated into his mind. He didn’t often have days like this, where his mind wasn’t full of harsh thoughts, worries, or things to say in a conversation. He liked these days. The days where he was really, okay.

 

He heard footsteps and turned just in time to see Josh drop himself into the seat opposite him. Josh smiled at him before grabbing the burrito from Tyler’s hands and taking a massive bite.

 

“That was rude.” The corners or Tyler’s mouth went up in a small smile.

 

Josh rolled his eyes. “I didn’t see you gorging yourself on this or stopping me from taking a bite so.”

 

It was Tyler’s turn to roll his eyes at the beautiful punk man in front of him.

 

“Give me back my burrito.” Tyler reached across the table and took it from Josh.

 

Tyler proceeded to take a bite out of it as Josh looked offended at how he simply took the burrito. Tyler gave him a cheeky closed mouth smile as he ate and Josh’s open mouth turned to a smile, the skin around his eyes crinkling in Tyler's favorite way. As Tyler continued to eat, he felt Josh still staring at him and when he looked up, Josh was smiling softly and his eyes full to the brim with the clear emotion of love.

 

Tyler blushed. “What…” He said softly as he finished a bite.

 

“I like it when you’re like this.” Josh said simply, resting his head on his palm.

 

Tyler set down his food, cocking his head in confusion. “Like what?”

 

Josh gestured to Tyler. “Like this. Happy, carefree, calm, and just... _fine_.”

 

Tyler looked out the window.

 

“I like it when you’re not worried about what everybody’s thinking, what to say next in a conversation, or if you made a mistake.” Josh continued to speak, the genuine love in his voice making Tyler blush.

 

“I like it when you’re okay.” Josh finished.

 

Tyler turned, Josh still smiling at him dopily, and he gave a small smile back.

 

“I like it when I’m okay too.” Tyler admitted and Josh smiled even wider, the crinkles re-appearing.

 

Tyler saw movement and turned to see Debby walking over, long red hair pulled up into a ponytail. He smiled at her and she smiled back, giving a little wave.

 

“Hey Josh. Hey Tyler.” She said happily, dropping herself into the seat next to Josh.

 

She gave Josh a peck on the cheek, making Tyler’s heart clench. She then turned to Tyler with a smile.

 

“So what’s up.” She reached for Tyler’s burrito.

 

Tyler handed it to her and shrugged. “Nothing much. Nothing exciting is happening or will be happening. As is a common thing in my life.”

 

“Bummer.” Debby said, swallowing the bite she took. “Well, Josh and I are going to a movie with some friends tonight, wanna join us?”

 

Tyler bit his lip, not sure how well he would do with making new friends. He was having a good day today, so it might be better. Plus he would have Josh and Debby there with him.

 

“Yeah I’ll go.” Tyler nodded. “What are we gonna see?”

 

“Captain America Civil War.” Josh said through a mouthful or burrito, earning him a smack on the arm from Debby.

 

“Oh okay, cool!” Tyler smiled. He loved the Marvel series.

 

“So, we’ll leave at 9:30 cause the movie’s at ten.” Debby declared. “Cool?”

 

Tyler nodded. “Cool.”

 

“Josh! Tyler! Lunch is up get back here.” Their co worker, Chris, called.

 

“Chris it’s not very wise to yell across the restaurant to your co workers!” Josh yelled back. “The customers might not like it!”

 

Their was a rumble of laughter from the customers in the place and Tyler smiled as he stood. “You can have the rest Debs.” He gestured to his burrito.

 

“Okay, thanks!” She smiled.

 

Tyler made his way back to his station Josh next to him, and for once, it felt comfortable.

 

“So, who do you want to win?” Tyler said and Josh’s expression was priceless.

 

Josh immediately launched into his internal (now external) dilemma about who he wanted to win and Tyler smiled. It was nice seeing Josh rant on about something he enjoyed. Tyler just listened as he worked, humming to himself, happy that he felt okay.

 

\- - - - - - - - -

 

At 9:15 Tyler was fretting over himself in the mirror. He wore black skinny jeans, as usual, and a black button up shirt that had a red stripe down the middle, almost like a tie. He had it tucked into his jeans and it looked casual enough, but what if they thought he was over dressed? He shook his head, not wanting to worry. He had a good anxiety free day so far and he didn’t want to ruin it now. He took a deep breath, looking himself over before shucking off the top and grabbing a different one. He grabbed his Mickey Mouse shirt, pulling it on and looking at himself. He smiled in success as it looked casual enough and he pocketed his phone. He grabbed his sweatshirt from the back of his door and made his way to the front door.

 

“Where are you going? On a date with Josh?” Brendon teased and Tyler blushed and turned to glare at him.

 

“I’m going to the movies. Yes I’m going with Josh, but I’m also going with Debby and we’re meeting some of their friends there.” Tyler smirked.

 

Brendon just grinned. “Don’t do anything dirty.” He said simply before focusing back on whatever he was watching.

 

“Dickhead.” Tyler muttered, tugging on his shoes, gray lo-pros, and grabbing his keys.

 

He turned on his heel back to Brendon. “Where’s Dal?”

 

“Out.” Brendon replied simply. 

 

“Without you?” Tyler raised an eyebrow.

 

Brendon groaned in exasperation. “Fuck off I don’t have to tell you where he’s gone.”

 

“So you don’t know.” Tyler was grinning.

 

“Tyler I will throw a full can of beer at your head.” Brendon frowned. “Go to the movies already so you can suck off Josh in the back row.”

 

Tyler rolled his eyes but opened the door. “Shove a cactus up your ass.” He retorted before closing the door and taking 3 steps to Josh and Debby’s door.

 

He knocked, waiting a moment before Debby opened the door, smiling. Her hair was down and she wore a white blouse, blue jeans, and flats.

 

He returned the smile kindly. “Ready?” He asked.

 

“Yeah.” Debby, turned to look inside. “Josh hurry your cute butt up!”

 

“Yeah yeah, I’m here.” Josh chuckled, pushing Debby slightly so she was out of the apartment. “Hey Ty.”   


 

Tyler nodded in greeting, shuffling awkwardly as Josh grabbed the keys to his apartment and closed the door.

 

“Let’s move people.” Debby said, as she was already at the elevators.

 

Tyler chuckled, walking next to Josh towards the elevators. Josh wore a black shirt with lines criss crossing over it making boxes out of the black fabric. On the shoulders was the number 53 and under the numbers was a little pattern from the white again. To go with the shirt Josh wore black skinny jeans and a pair of black and white Sk8r Vans. The outfit suited him and Tyler nodded in approval. 

 

Josh must have noticed his nod. “What?” The punk boy looked over his outfit.

 

“Nothing,” Tyler smiled shyly. “It-It just suits you.” He took a deep breath. “It looks nice.”

 

Josh smiled at him as they stepped into the elevator. “You look nice too.” He tugged at Tyler’s top. “Cool shirt.”

 

“Thanks.” He smiled and looked over at Debby who had an eyebrow raised oh so slightly. “I love your outfit Debby. The blouse suits you very well.”

 

Debby smiled at him and rolled her eyes. “You sound so proper Ty, calm down.” She laughed lightly.

 

Tyler smiled, looking down and shoving his hands into his pockets. They stood in comfortable silence for the duration of the elevator ride. When it dinged, they stepped out and made their way to the car.

 

“Shotgun!” Josh yelled, making a beeline for the passenger side of the car.

 

“Ass!” Debby laughed, but didn’t run after Josh.

 

Tyler smiled. “Didn’t want to drive?” He looked at Debby.

 

“If Josh were a true gentleman he would drive me. But we all know he’s just an ass.” Debby said jokingly, saying the last sentence directly to Josh as they got to the car.

 

Josh gasped in feigned hurt. “That’s not true!”

 

Tyler laughed as they all climbed into the car.

 

“I am not an ass I’m such a gentleman.” Josh pouted.

 

“You’re such a drama queen.” Debby laughed.

  
Tyler listened to them banter back and forth and he smiled. It was nice when it wasn’t Brendon and Dallon all the time. He liked listening to the warm conversations, he liked being a part of them and he felt warm. He smiled to himself, staring out the window and listened to them as the car drove towards the theater.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me if you're happy with this  
> also, sorry for all the time skips  
> i just felt no need to go into immense detail at those parts so why not skip and stop myself from messing something up  
> so yeah tell me how you felt about it


	7. 7.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to the movies, Josh sounds like a fuckboy, and Tyler loses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s-s-s-s-s-s-s- SMUT
> 
> shit written smut if i say so myself

“Yoshua!” A girl with short steel blonde hair yelled as Josh, Debby, and Tyler walked up to the movie theatre.

 

The girl didn’t just yell it, she ran up to the three. Tyler watched, confused as Josh opened his arms bending down a little as the girl ran towards him. Tyler was even more confused when the girl leapt into Josh’s arms and he lifted her up and spun her around. He set her down and smiled at her.

 

“I told you not to call me that ya big dumb.” Josh smiled.

 

“Cry me a river.” The blonde sneered.

 

“Debs!” Another girl, her hair half pink and half black but put into two long braids, walked up and hugged Debby.

 

Debby hugged her back. “Mel!” She mimicked the girl.

 

“Fuck off.” Mel smiled.

 

A two more people trailed over, to be exact, a short guy with bright pink hair, and another guy that was slightly shorter than the first who wore a fedora, glasses, and a long sleeved shirt. They walked over and got hugs from Josh and Debby, but after all the greetings had happened, they stood there glancing at Tyler.

 

“Oh yeah, uh guys, this is Tyler.” Josh said, gesturing to Tyler who, being the hella awkward person he is, gave them a small little wave.

 

“Tyler, this is Ashley, Melanie, Patrick, and Pete.” Josh said pointing at each person.

 

“And Ryan!” A person yelled running over.

 

He wore a black leather jacket, a white graphic tee, black skinny jeans and vans. His hair was styled with a quiff and he had stubble on his face. His eyes were a nice chocolate brown and his hair was a dark brown with a few golden streaks that were probably natural.

 

“And Ryan.” Josh rolled his eyes as Ryan made it over to the group.

 

“Hi.” Tyler said and waved again. “Tyler.”

 

Ryan just nodded, obviously too out of breath for words.

 

“Don’t forget Brendon!” Tyler sighed audibly as he heard Brendon’s voice.

 

He walked over and stood right next to Tyler, throwing his arm around him.

 

“Brendon what the fuck are you doing here.” Tyler sounded exhausted.

 

Brendon looked offended. “I thought you would enjoy my presence.” Then he waved a hand dismissively. “Doesn’t matter. I’m here cause I’m not gonna sit at home alone and wait up like a girl.”

 

“Yeah but Brendon you are such a girl.” Tyler frowned.

 

“Hey! Being a girl isn’t an insult.” Ashley said defensively.

 

Tyler blushed. “Uh no I meant as in he acts like a girl. I didn’t mean it offensively.” He looked at the ground.

 

“You are?” Brendon said, probably cocking an eyebrow.

 

“Ashley.” She crossed her arms. “And you are?”

 

“Unimportant.” Josh interrupted. He flashed a sorry look at Brendon when he scoffed. “We came to watch a movie, let’s go.”

 

The group mumbled an agreement and began walking towards the movie theater.

 

\- - - - - -

 

Inside the movie theater, all the girls sat together while all the boys sat together in separate sections of the movie theater.

 

“How come we all sat separately?” Tyler said sitting down between Josh and Brendon.

 

“It’s cause the girls like to talk and make noise during the movies and we,” Pete, who sat on the end, gestured to the boys. “Do not.”

 

Patrick scoffed. “Uh huh. Pete I don’t know why you’re still here. You know you sit by the girls.” Patrick gave Pete’s knee a friendly pat.

 

“Fuck you Stumptown Funk. I do not talk during movies.” Pete frowned.

 

“That’s a bold faced  _ lie. _ ” Josh let out a breathy laugh.

 

“Yeah and don’t call me Stumptown Funk you ass.” Patrick huffed.

 

Pete gave him a fake sympathetic look. “Sorry I hurt your feelings princess.”

 

“Oh go screw yourself Wentz.” Patrick rolled his eyes.

 

Pete laughed and hugged the boy. “I’d rather screw you.”

 

“Pete!” Patrick groaned and shook the laughing man off.

 

Tyler smiled at the two and Josh rolled his eyes, chuckling and looking back at Tyler.

 

“Don’t mind Pete, he’s an asshole. He never means it though.” Josh smiled.

 

Tyler shrugged. “I could tell.” He pointed at Brendon. “He’s an asshole too but he never means it.”   
  


Brendon, who was sucked into a conversation with Ryan, turned upon hearing his name and smiled mischievously.

 

“Are you so sure?” Brendon winked and Tyler rolled his eyes.

 

“Brendon you know you love me too much to actually be a dick to me.” Tyler put a knowing hand on his shoulder.

 

“But I don’t love you enough to put my dick in you.” Brendon smiled and put his hand on Tyler’s shoulder.

 

“Ew Brendon ohmygod.” Tyler fake gagged and shook Brendon’s hand off.

 

Josh, Brendon, and Ryan were all snickering and Tyler punched Josh and Brendon. “I hate both of you it’s not funny.”

 

Josh rubbed his arm, still snickering. “It’s kinda funny.”

 

“Kinda like your face.” Tyler mumbled.

 

“Offended.” Josh feigned offence, earning an eye roll from Tyler.

 

“Alright girls shut up the movies starting.” Pete said before yelping as they all threw popcorn at him.

 

All of them settled down and focused on the movie, and suddenly Josh’s hand was on Tyler’s knee. Tyler froze, expecting it to move, but nothing happened. He sat still, not daring to move, uncertain as to what to do about Josh’s fucking hand on his fucking leg around these people that didn’t know about them, whatever they were. Well everyone minus Brendon but he doesn’t count, he knows about everybody’s shit. Tyler glanced at Josh, who at the moment, was staring with rapt interest at the trailers on the movie screen. Tyler just swallowed down his problems and relaxed, deciding to ignore Josh’s hand on his knee.

 

By the time the movie started, he had totally forgotten about it and forgot that he had a problem sitting next to Josh. Then Josh’s hand moved to his thigh and Tyler’s hands clenched where they sat wrapped around his popcorn bucket. He tried to look like he wasn’t affected, despite the fact that he had tensed up momentarily. He kept his eyes on the screen, tracking the movie and watching as the starting action unfurled. He couldn’t keep focused for long because Josh squeezed his thigh and Tyler was tensing yet again. He didn’t dare look at Josh because he already knew the smile the man was wearing on his face. It made Tyler want to retaliate with the same force. To tease Josh just the same.

 

_ “I won’t do it. I’m not going to give into his game. We’re in a public place, and I’m not going to have sex with him in the back of a movie theater like a cliche.” _ Tyler thought, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

 

Josh squeezed again and Tyler knew he was doomed. This movie was going to take for-fucking-ever.

 

\- - - - - - - -

 

About halfway through the movie, Josh had decided it was a good time to start rubbing his hand up and down Tyler’s thigh. And about 10 minutes after that started, Tyler decided he had to use the bathroom. He stood up slowly, so not to startle everyone and turned to walk past Brendon, only to see he was barely paying attention to the movie and more interested in biting Ryan’s neck. Ryan was just giving a knowing smile and continuing to try and pay attention to the movie as Brendon licked and nipped at his neck. Tyler frowned at Brendon and just before he moved to walk past, under the darkness of the theater he felt Josh pinch his butt. He stopped himself from letting out a noise, instead just stepping over Brendon’s legs and scooting past Ryan’s to get to the bathroom. 

 

He quickly made his way out of the theater and to the bathroom. He silently entered the bathroom and stepped over to the sink, resting his hands on the counter and looking at himself in the mirror. Nothing looked wrong with him, and he was aware of that, it’s just that he needed to look at himself. He needed to be him, not the horny mess that craved Josh every time he caught a glimpse of him. But who was he? He was sensible, he knew right from wrong and doing Josh was so right but  _ so _ wrong. The bathroom door opened and Tyler didn’t move, having a feeling he already knew who it was.

 

He looked past himself in the mirror to see fluffy pink locks, then Josh’s smirking face, then the rest of him walking towards Tyler. Tyler bit his lip, standing up straighter as Josh wrapped his arms around his middle and began nipping at his ear. Tyler closed his eyes and just breathed, trying not to fall prey to Josh. He wasn’t going to let Josh fuck him in public, oh hell no. He shivered as Josh bit and lightly tugged on his ear lobe.

 

“I can see you trying to stop yourself.” Josh murmured in Tyler’s ear. “Trying to convince yourself that you can control yourself and not bend over the sink and tell me to fuck you. Or you’re trying not to drop to your knees and suck me off right here or in the theater. I could tell you were trying so hard not to just crawl into my lap and ride me in that theater. I could feel you trying so hard.”

 

Tyler exhaled shakily, closing his eyes slightly as the words started to get to him. He bit his lip, trying to stay in control like Josh said. Josh’s lips moved to his neck, nipping, biting, licking, and sucking marks over it. Tyler let out a breathy whimper.

 

“If you just let me I would drag you into one of these stalls and fuck you up against it. Have to hold my hand over your mouth so nobody would hear you crying out for me because we know full well it’s not allowed.” Josh nipped his neck and Tyler tried and failed to hold back a moan.

 

Josh laughed breathily against his neck. “That’s what you want isn’t it? To have me fuck you with people so close to knowing, to hearing it. You want the danger of getting caught don’t you?”

 

Tyler could only nod, hands gripping the counter so tightly that his knuckles turned white, eyes clenched shut.

 

Josh grinned against his neck, continuing his ministrations but then he was gone and Tyler’s eyes shot open. Josh was grinning and walking to the door to leave.

 

“I don’t know about you, but I’m missing a very important movie.” Josh then turned, and left, leaving Tyler a turned on mess.

 

Tyler frowned and bit his lip, shaking his head a few times before walking back out and into the theater, sitting next to Josh like nothing happened. He rested his hand on Josh’s thigh, dangerously close to his crotch and rubbed his thumb against the jeans. If Josh wanted to play, then fine, he’d play. But he was going to win this game of Chicken. He was going to win by miles.

 

\- - - - - - - -

 

Tyler totally didn’t win. No way. They had finished the movie all the while giving each other discreet touches and whispering dirty things to each other, trying to get the other to make the first move and just give in. Since everyone was distracted by Brendon and Ryan who, by the way, couldn’t keep their hands (or mouths) off of each other, nobody noticed Josh or Tyler’s game. The guys decided they wanted to go for a drink and the girls decided they wanted to go home, not wanting to be with the drunk men.

 

The girls had departed to all stay at Melanie’s house while the men went to the bar and all but Tyler proceeded to get either almost shit faced, or completely and utterly shit faced. Tyler had stayed reasonably sober, only having one beer and just sitting and nursing a cranberry juice for the remainder of the night. The game of Chicken he had going with Josh was moving in his favor, as Josh was drunk enough that he could barely keep himself from just giving in and sucking Tyler off in the middle of the bar. His touches had become more and more close to sexual, his dirty talk sounding more like a plan rather than just teasing. Tyler would just occasionally pinch Josh’s butt or mouth at his neck when Josh wasn’t paying any attention, but he made sure to be discreet. He had wrangled all of the men out of the bar when he saw Brendon making his way down to Ryan’s dick.

 

They had all gotten home and Tyler decided the healthy thing to do was put all of the drunk guys (minus Josh of course) in Josh and Debby’s apartment and take himself and Josh back to his apartment. He brought an annoyed Brendon back to his apartment too because he didn’t want his best friend to make a dumb decision. As soon as he was in his apartment and Brendon was in his room, Josh had him pressed against the door, kissing and sucking his neck like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted. Tyler was panting, hand in Josh’s hair, tugging and twisting as he whimpered for more. Josh was grinding against Tyler, both of them hard and desperate. Then yet again, Josh was gone, walking down the hall like a perfectly sober person. He was one of the not so shit faced members of the group so that was probably why, but at the moment Tyler didn’t care. He wanted Josh to fuck him, and hard.

 

So that’s how Tyler ended up losing. And that’s why he’s currently bent nearly in hald, moaning and melting as Josh licked at his hole.

 

“Fuck, Josh, c’mon.” Tyler groaned as Josh poked his tongue inside Tyler yet again.

 

Josh’s head moved back from in between Tyler’s cheeks and he shivered as Josh licked from the base of his spine to the nape of Tyler’s neck.

 

“Whaddya want baby boy.” He growled in Tyler’s ear.

 

“I want you to fuck me so hard that I can’t walk straight.” Tyler attempted to growl, but it came out a rough pant instead.

 

Josh grinned against his neck before slithering back, and looking through Tyler’s bedside drawers for lube and a condom. Tyler ground against the bed in a desperate search for friction as Josh shuffled through his drawers. A triumphant noise let Tyler know Josh had found it, along with the click of a cap. A moment later her felt a cool finger pressing at his entrance and he tensed momentarily. A soothing touch from Josh’s hand onto his hip helped him relax, letting Josh push a finger in all the way. Tyler bit his lip, arching his hips slightly to get it deeper. God he needed  _ more. _ Then the punk men's finger began to move, pulling out and pushing back in slowly. 

 

“More.” Tyler panted impatiently. “Need more.”

 

He heard Josh chuckle behind him. “Greedy aren’t you?”

 

Tyler went to retort but Josh’s finger pulled out all the way and his arm was around Tyler’s waist and flipping him over. As soon as Tyler landed on his back, two fingers were being pushed into him and he whined, arching his back. His hands clenched and ran over the bed in an attempt to grab something. The fingers pumped fast and hard and Tyler was reduced to a moaning mess, only being able to get out “Josh” “Fuck” and “More”. Josh obliged to the last word after a few minutes, pushing in a third finger with the other two and causing Tyler to cry out.

 

“You sound so good.” Josh kissed Tyler’s neck tenderly, a stark difference to what his fingers were doing to his ass.

 

Tyler whimpered and arched his back, trying to let the fingers hit deeper and harder. “Please just,” Tyler panted. “Just fuck me.”

 

Suddenly Josh’s fingers were gone, he heard the sound of a foil packet, the click of a cap, and then Josh was beginning to press inside of him. Tyler bit his lip at the immense pleasure and slight pain as Josh bottomed out, lifting Tyler’s legs to his chest. He sat still, letting Tyler adjust and with a small nod, Josh began to move. He didn’t go slow like he had when he started with his fingers. He pulled out all the way and slammed right back in causing Tyler to scream, his hands immediately coming up to claw at his back. Josh continued this in a fast rough pace, Tyler’s strength waning at each thrust until his fingers were weakly carded in Josh’s wild hair.

 

It didn’t take long for Tyler to begin reaching his orgasm, the fact that his dick was squished between them and Josh was being merciless on his prostate added up to a pretty quick build up.

 

“Josh,” Tyler whimpered. “I’m close. I’m gonna-”

 

“Do it for me baby boy.” Josh growled tugging at Tyler’s earlobe. “Cum for me.”

 

Tyler’s hands tightened in Josh’s hair, tugging the hair as he came onto their chests screaming, the feeling sending bolts of electricity through his body. Josh didn’t last much longer after, thrusting into Tyler three more times before he pushed in deep and stilled, emptying into the condom with a groan. They lay there for a moment before Josh gingerly pulled out of Tyler and stood up on wobbly legs, pulling off and tying the condom before throwing it into the trash. He disappeared before coming back with a damp cloth and wiping down Tyler’s stomach and his. He dropped the cloth onto the floor and fell into bed next to Tyler’ wrapping an arm around him and pulling him close.

 

“I’ve wanted to do that since I saw your pretty little ass in those skinny jeans leaving the Chipotle.” Josh mumbled into Tyler’s hair, then proceeding to kiss his head. “I wondered how it would look with nothing on it, red from my hands, and how it would feel with my dick inside of it.

 

Tyler hummed and looked up at Josh. “I think I’ve wanted to do that since I saw you bite your lip.” He tangled his hands in Josh’s hair again. “I wondered how you would look doing that while you were above me, fucking me.”

 

Josh chuckled. “Looks like we’ve both found out.”

 

He moved his arm that was under Tyler so his hand was cradling Tyler’s head. His thumb rubbed softly against Tyler’s cheek as they stared at each other. It was another one of those moments where it was just serene and perfect and Tyler never wanted it to end. He felt safe in Josh’s arms and he closed his eyes and exhaled softly.

 

Tyler felt Josh shuffle slightly to pull at the covers, get them out from underneath the men, and then drape them over the pair. They snuggled closer even though they were far from cold. Tyler felt himself beginning to fall asleep, feeling comfortable and warm next to Josh. He knew the other man was going to fall asleep too and just before he himself did, he had to say one last thing.

 

“I want to say I love you Josh, but I’m afraid I’ll believe it too much and fall head over heels for you.” Tyler’s sleepy voice whispered, and a moment later his breathing steadied and he was asleep.

  
Little did the sleeping man know, Josh was holding him tighter because he had already fallen way to hard for the soft, sleeping, doe-eyed boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay at the movies did josh sound like a dickbag or a fuckboy cause i think he did please tell me if he did and if i should change it cause i think i should change it but i dunno


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wanted to cosplay as a Christmas Ornament and hang himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo one chapter on this fic and one on my other what is HAPPENING IM UPDATING WHAT THE FUUUDGE  
> This is also shorterish?????? Whatever I wrote the second half after the second Ash thing (you'll see what I mean) at around one am???? so yeah sleep is obviously not a priority and right as i type this my wifi is deciding it doesn't want to work yay  
> so enjoy

Tyler and Josh never spoke of that night. It had been 2 weeks since and they didn’t say a word. Dallon found out about Brendon trying to sleep with Ryan and was doing his best to act normal. Tyler could see how angry he was with Brendon though. He could see it especially when Brendon would tell Dallon he loved him. Tyler and Josh on the other hand, were being experts at keeping this from Debby. It wasn’t hard, not talking about it, but it was hard for Tyler when Debby fawned over Josh, embracing him and kissing him all over his face. It was hard when Tyler hung out with Josh and Debby a lot more now, becoming good friends with them and their friends. It was hard when Patrick, Pete, and Ryan sent the two of them questioning looks every time they were just talking together. It was so hard for Tyler because he wanted nothing more than to just hold Josh, kiss him, love him without anyone or anything holding him back.

 

But Tyler knew he had to keep that down, act normal, play the best-friend-who-totally-didn’t-fuck-said-best-friend-even-though-he-has-a-girlfriend. So they went out for dinner, Ashley, Tyler, Debby, and Josh, Tyler being as sneaky sneaky and expert at hiding his pining for Josh. Obviously he wasn’t as good as he thought cause when he excused himself to the bathroom Ashley followed him soon after and shoved him into a corner of the bathroom, startling a yelp out of him.

 

“Ashley what the-”

 

“Did you fuck Josh.” It was more of a statement that demanded an answer than a question.

 

“Wh-”

 

“Tyler. Don’t lie to me. You’re a shitty liar, it’s a surprise Debby hasn’t figured it out with all the lovesick puppy looks you shoot at Josh when you think nobody’s watching. Guess what Tyler, not as subtle as you think.”

 

Tyler pursed his lips, looking anywhere but at Ashley as he tried to think of a way out of it.

 

But there wasn’t.

 

He sighed, crossing his arms and looking down at his feet and biting his lip.

 

“You did didn’t you.” Ashley breathed, taking a half step back, crossing her arms and looking him over.

 

He looked up at her and nodded slightly. “It kinda just happened and I knew I shouldn’t have but  _ god _ he was being so insistent.” He tried to put as much plea into his eyes as he could, begging her to not get angry.

 

Ashley just nodded slightly before shrugging. “Well, it’s in the past. It’s happened and Debby doesn’t know and it’s not affecting Josh being with her. So, it’s fine I guess.”

 

Tyler’s mouth gaped for a moment, and she shook his head slightly. “Really, that’s it?” He said in disbelief.

 

“No that’s not it dumbass!” Ashley, smacked him over the back of the head. Tyler gave a small ‘ow’ and rubbed his head shamefully. “It’s not okay at all!” She frowned.

 

Tyler looked at the ground, them heard Ashley give a deep sigh. “But I do have one more thing to ask.”

 

Tyler looked up, cocking an eyebrow. “And what would that be?”

 

Ashley’s frown turned into a mischievous grin. “How good was it?”   
  


Tyler sputtered, coughing on air and flailed his arms wildly in an attempt to communicate how unbe _ lievable _ that question was.

 

“Wh-What!?” Was all he could presently get out.

 

Ashley shrugged, the smile turning into a sinister smirk. “I want to know. I’ve had my eyes on that hot piece of ass for a  _ very _ long time.”

 

Tyler’s arms flailed again. “What!?” The word was at a higher more confused pitch than last time.

 

“How big was his dick?”

 

Tyler let out a small, horrified ‘ohmygod’.

 

“Is he rough and hard or is he slow and nice?”

 

Tyler could not believe this.

 

“Does he dirty talk?”

 

Tyler wanted to die, right here right now.

 

Ashley gasped. “Is he kinky?” She sounded excited.

 

He wanted to cosplay as a Christmas Ornament and  _ hang himself _ .

 

“C’mon Tyler don’t look so mortified. They’re legitimate questions.” Ashley scoffed, rolling her eyes.

 

“I’m gonna - I’m gonna head back.” Tyler squeaked out. “They’re probably wondering what’s taking so long.”

 

He rushed past Ashley, as she didn’t stop him, knowing he was probably blushing up a storm. He went back to the table, head down and sat stiffly. He didn’t look up, not even when Debby and Josh asked what was happening.

 

“I just asked him something really embarrassing.” He could hear the devilish grin in Ashley’s words.

 

“Ashley.” Debby and Josh groaned simultaneously.

 

“Does she do that a lot?” Tyler mumbled, looking up slightly.

 

Debby sighed. “Every single time we make a new friend. They’re generally sexual questions.”

 

Ashley grinned and Tyler swore he saw shark teeth somewhere in there.

 

“We should’ve known when she followed you to the bathroom.” Josh rubbed a hand over his face, before dropping it and shrugging. “Oh well.”

 

“How long have you guys been friends?” Tyler raised an eyebrow.

 

“Sophomore year of high school. Well, for me that is.” Josh said.

 

“I’ve been friends with her since our Junior year of college. She was Josh’s friend first and when I started hanging with Josh she became my friend soon after.” Debby smiled at the memory, before her face turned jokingly serious. “But you’re not really her friend unless she asks you a horribly embarrassing question or kisses you on the lips. Lucky for me it was the question.”

 

Ashley feigned offence. “Lucky for you? You mean unlucky for you because you know full well you want a piece of this.” She huffed.

 

“The day Josh cheats on me is the day that I decide I want to kiss you.” Debby scoffed.

 

Tyler froze and he saw Josh stiffen in the seat next to him. It felt like there was silence forever when it was actually 5 seconds for Ashley to come up with a comeback.

 

“What makes you think he won’t cheat on you?” Ashley smirked.

 

Tyler looked up at Ashley with a barely concealed face of horror, but Debby was too busy looking at Ashley the same way.

 

“He would never!” Debby almost growled out. “You know Josh. He’s not like other guys, he’s nice and caring and he never looks at other girls.” Her voice softened.

 

Tyler saw Josh reach out and grab her hand, rubbing a thumb over her knuckles soothingly.

 

“Yeah but what about other-”

 

“Ash.” Josh cut her off, sounding exasperated.

 

“What?” Ashley said innocently. “It’s a legitimate question.”

 

Tyler saw that knowing glint in Ashley’s eyes because he knew that she  _ knew _ . Suddenly, Debby stood up, though she was still kinda bent awkwardly as they were all sitting in a booth and he couldn’t help but think that it would’ve been more effective if they had chairs.

 

“It may be a legitimate question Ashley but it’s completely uncalled for. You and I both know Josh wouldn’t do anything like that because he’s a nice person who thinks about people’s feelings. That was a bitch move Ashley.” Debby seethed, before turning on her heel, her hair flipping as a sure sign the conversation was over.

 

They sat in silence, hearing her clicking heels fading before they all turned to look at each other again.

 

“Ashley what the fuck.” Josh frowned, and Tyler dare say he looked pissed off.

 

“What? I didn’t do anything. I just stated possibilities.” Ashley frowned back, her joking demeanor gone.

 

“You kept pushing it though, like it was sure to happen or already had.” Tyler was startled by the anger in Josh’s eyes.

 

“Maybe because it has Josh.” Ashley bit back, her hand clenched into a fist which she banged on the table.

 

They were silent and Tyler wanted to crawl into the cracks in the floor at the look Josh gave him.

 

“What.” Josh’s voice was barely a whisper.

 

“You heard me. I know you slept with Tyler and I didn’t need him to tell me for it to be obvious. I mean look at you two! You keep sending what you think are discreet looks, even though they’re not. Tyler looks like a kicked puppy every time he looks at you when he thinks nobody’s watching. And Josh you look like you’re so utterly in love with him and I can see how much you just want to go over to him but you have to turn that look on Debby because you don’t want to hurt her. But what you both don’t know is we see it. I don’t know if Debby sees it, but I know I do. I know Brendon does, I know Ryan does, and I know Patrick, Pete, and Mel all see it. We aren’t blind.” Ashley snapped, standing up and staring harshly at Josh.

 

Tyler sat there awkwardly, knowing he couldn’t do anything or move because he needed to hear this as much as Josh did.

 

“You think I’m the one hurting Debby? It’s you Josh and you need to either end it or stop whatever you’re doing with Tyler because, fuck, I bet it’s tearing her apart. I bet that’s why she got so angry at me, because she saw how you’ve been looking at Tyler and she’s trying to bury the fact that maybe you’re with him behind her back. Maybe she didn’t want to think it’s true so when I said all those things it set her off because she knows that you are and she just doesn’t believe it.”

 

They were silent and when Tyler dared look up, he saw Josh hanging his head in shame and when he looked around he saw the few people that are in there with them looking at them, some with horrified or accusatory looks. Tyler felt shame and that familiar cold feeling of anxiety well up inside of him and before Ashley could say anymore he was standing quickly from his seat and stepping out into the aisle.

 

“I’m-I’m gonna go.” He said quickly, hating how his voice wavered and his eyes stung with the threat of tears.

 

“Tyler-” Josh started and Tyler held a hand up shaking his head.

 

“No I-I just need to go. I’ll see you guys around.” Tyler turned and made a hasty retreat to the door.

 

He exited into the barely there chill of the coming LA autumn. People walked all around him, as was usual in the city and he saw a few cabs driving along. He felt the air struggling to get inside his lungs, shaking his head because he couldn’t have a panic attack right here no that’s  _ not _ going to happen. He walked to the curb and flagged down a taxi, the restaurant door opening behind him and Ashley calling his name. He turned and looked at her with an apologetic gaze before ducking into the car. He practically wheezed the address to the taxi driver, squeezing his eyes shut the whole entire ride back.

 

\- - - - - - - - - -

 

Tyler stumbled up the stairs, surprised his panic attack was setting in so slowly. It’s probably because he managed to keep his breathing even enough, and because he thought of good things, things that made him happy. Like Josh’s smile. But then he would remember what Ashley said and it would send him down again and this continuous circle was beginning to tire him out. He shoved his hands in his pockets, one of them locating and digging out his keys. He fumbled with them, realising his vision was going spotty and he cursed with the limited air he had. The panic was beginning to set in and he stuffed his keys back in his pocket, knocking on the door feverently, his breath not being useful and filling his lungs. He felt like he was underwater again and all he could think was  _ “It’s you Josh and you need to either end it or stop whatever you’re doing with Tyler because, fuck, I bet it’s tearing her apart. You’re t _ **_eArINg her APART._ ** _ ”  _ Why was he stupid why did he have to do this with Josh? Why couldn’t he just-

 

Arms were shaking him gently, a voice was calling to him but he couldn’t hear them over the roar in his ears. Over the repetition over his own mistakes and he couldn’t hear himself but he knew he was saying “I’m tearing her apart.” on repeat. He could feel his mouth forming the words. He was being hugged now, it was Dallon probably. Unless Brendon got to him first. He clenched his eyes shut, it didn’t matter though because he couldn’t really see anyway because all that was playing was Ashley yelling at him and Josh about how they’re ruining everything. Someone’s whispering in his ear, he can’t hear them and it’s frustrating. But not as frustrating as Josh cheating on Debby with him. She’s so frustrated with him.

 

“.......... _ okay _ ……… _ ’re okay _ …” He can hear it.

 

Okay? What’s okay? Definitely not this situation. He fucked up royally this time didn’t he? Wow he’s such a peice of -

 

“ _ You’re okay……. Okay….. You’re okay.” _

 

Tyler’s definitely not okay. I mean can’t they see him he’s having a fucking panic attack? He’s ruined someone's relationship and he had the power not to but he’s so weak.

 

“ _.... back………….me back…….. Come back. _ ”

 

Tyler wanted to come back, he wanted to breathe. So he tried. He sucked in a gasp of air and the roaring in his ears died a little bit. So he kept doing it because that incessant roaring was quite annoying. 

 

“ _ You’ll be okay…. Come back to us…. C’mon Tyler.” _

 

He took more breaths.

 

“ _ That’s good….. C’mon Tyler you’ve got this…. You’re okay. _ ”

 

The roaring was barely there. He opened his eyes and he could see. He could feel what was going on. His head wasn’t filled with as much noise, with all the words flying around in it. He looked around, he was still in the hall. He looked at who was holding him and hey, it was Brendon who would’ve guessed. They were sitting on the floor, Tyler curled in Brendon’s lap. He looked up and saw Dallon there, relief and worry somehow in place at the same time in his eyes. He looked around, now noticing Debby kneeling next to him and Josh standing awkwardly behind her. Why was he awkward? It’s not like he didn’t know anybody here.

 

“Tyler?” Brendon murmured.

 

Tyler turned to look at him, now feeling the tears on his wet cheeks.

 

“You okay?” Brendon raised an eyebrow.

 

Tyler just sniffled and felt more tears coming. “God Bren, I fucked up so bad.”

  
Brendon just looked at him with sorry eyes and Tyler curled himself into Brendon, deciding now was a good time to just shut out the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i get that panic attack scene wasn't really good but i tried and it's one am and i didn't exactly know how to write it well but the idea was there.  
> sorry to leave it on such a bad note but i hope you enjoyed Ashley's weird questioning  
> the second Ash thing is when she yells at Josh (and kinda Tyler)  
> everything after that was written at one am so yeah  
> majority while watching stranger things  
> but anyway, for anyone reading my other story Fucking Drums (I Mean Drummers) I'm working on the next chapter with what time i have tomorrow because my brother and i have to clean the house before my parents get home so i'll do what i can


	9. 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you guys I was shitty at posting regularly. It's why i don't set a timetable for myself and try. But let my very quickly catch you up on my life: good friends, boyfriend, enemy, saw Shakespeare, kinda lovin life
> 
> Enjoy this hella short chapter

Tyler’s decision to block out the world didn’t apply to that day only. He had been blocking out the world for a while, and on the 4th day of calling in sick (thanks Bren), Tyler’s boss recommend he go to the hospital if it’s this serious. That put Tyler into an even worse mood, knowing his depression and anxiety were that bad that he should go to a  _ hospital _ . He had thought about it once upon a time. Thought about getting out of bed to get help, to talk about his problems to stop this  _ ache _ inside of him. But that impossible idea was made impossible as Tyler remembered why he ached, why he was stuck in bed. Because it was his fucking fault.

 

Ashley hadn’t said it outright when she had been yelling at Josh and him, seeing as she was mainly yelling at Josh. It sounded like she was blaming Josh for this, but Tyler’s anxiety couldn’t help but take and twist the words so it sounded like Tyler was to blame for it. And Tyler didn’t try to deny it. He could have not pursued Josh, he could remind Josh of his girlfriend, and that Tyler wasn’t that person. But here we are. He didn’t do any of those things, and as much as Tyler had thought against it, he was that person.

 

What made the whole dilemma worse, save from Brendon and Dallon, was that nobody had come to visit him. It’s not like he’d like them to see him as he was. Even he could admit he probably looked like a mess. He just wanted the comfort of knowing people cared, and they would come to see if he was alright. He’d been curled under these blankets for 6 days now and tissues were all over the floor surrounding the side of the bed he remained curled up on. The room probably smelled gross, as Tyler hadn’t showered, hadn’t really moved in 6 days. He got up to use to bathroom but went no further. He hadn’t really slept either, maybe an hour or 2 each night. He hadn’t eaten, no matter what Brendon and Dallon brought in. Dallon brought in Taco Bell and a Red Bull once, as those were Tyler’s favourite, and upon seeing the Taco Bell and thinking more about Josh, Tyler fell into another fit of sobs, curling more into himself and relaying the message “I’m tearing her apart.”

 

They didn’t dare bring anything Josh related in after that. Even movies were off the table, as they both knew what happened the night of the movies and that would send Tyler spiralling so far downwards, he’d never climb up.

 

But right now, Tyler was where he had been basically all week. Lying on his bed, covers wrapped around him up to his neck, and him staring blankly at a wall. The blinds remained drawn, not letting in any notion as to what time of day it was. His thought process was mainly him trying to figure out how to fix this whole mess. But he _couldn’t could he._ _No he was so_ ** _weAk and uSELeSs. He couldn’t even FIx hIMsElf._**

 

“I’m so weak.” Tyler whispered meekly, having run out of tears on the 4th day. “So useless.”

 

He burrowed into the sheets, ready for another bout of serious self loathing that would have him wondering “Is it really worth it to live?” when suddenly, his door opened and someone walked in.

 

“Rise and shine honey.” A painstakingly familiar voice sang.

 

“Wha..” He barely got out before the blinds were yanked open and light flooded the room, causing Tyler to squawk in pain at the sudden light.

 

He had in fact been laying in complete darkness for 6 days, so yes he was pretty sure light would hurt his eyes thank you very much.

 

“Oh don’t be so dramatic it’s just sunlight.” He could hear her rolling her eyes.

 

Tyler had ducked his head down into the covers to avoid the light, giving a muffled protest. He heard footsteps in his direction and opened an eye to see the girl crouched in front of him. For a moment, worry and surprise were on her face, but they were gone so quick he wouldn’t have noticed them.

 

“Jenna, why are you here.” Tyler’s voice came out a hoarse whisper.

 

Guess that’s what he gets for drinking so little water.

 

Jenna gave him a sad smile as she reached a hand out to cup his cheek.

 

“I’m here to get you out of bed.” She said softly.

 

Tyler softly shook his head. “No.”

 

“Yes.” Jenna said with force, removing her hand to push herself back into standing. “You’ve been cooped up in here for 6 days and by the sounds of it you just might lose your job if you don’t show up tomorrow.”

 

“Just another thing on my list of things ruined.” Tyler said dryly.

 

“Tyler, I don’t think you understand. Brendon and Dallon had to call me to come talk to you.  _ Me _ , Tyler. Generally, those two have no problem cheering you up and getting you moving. Obviously you were so bad they saw fit to contact me and get me to fly across the whole damn country on last second notice.” Jenna took a breath before looking at him, and Tyler could see the plea in her eyes. “Please get up. For me, for Brendon and for Dallon. They’ve been worried sick about you Tyler. They have only left this past week in order to get you food or go grocery shopping. That is overall 2 days out of 6 they have left this house. And those two love to go out and party.”

 

“Then why didn’t they.” Tyler huffed, sitting up more.

 

“Because they didn’t want to leave you alone. They didn’t want to leave the house one night and you needed them and they weren’t there. They didn’t want to leave and come back to check on you only to find you dead because they wouldn’t stop blaming themselves if they let that happen.”

 

“I wouldn’t do that to them.” Tyler whispered.

 

“How do you know that Tyler? Even you don’t believe that because have you seen yourself? You have burried yourself in layers of self loathing and hatred that if it came down to it, you wouldn’t be thinking about how they would feel. You would be thinking about how much you’ve fucked up. Brendon and Dallon have been putting you ahead of them. So in this instance, stop putting yourself first and think about everyone else.” She spoke the words coldly, her tone harsh at the end of it and he could see the tears forming in her eyes.

 

And what Jenna said hit Tyler like a slap to the face. It left him dazed, and all he could do was nod absently in response, not knowing how to form any excuse.

 

“If you’re so indignant on Brendon and Dallon leaving you here then who’s pity do you want?” Jenna’s voice strained with emotion. “I don’t understand Tyler who’s pity are you needing so bad?”

 

“Nobody's!” Tyler cried, frustrated.  _ Joshs. _ He internally whimpered.

 

Jenna sighed, exasperated and ran her hand through her short blonde hair in clear frustration. Tyler averted his gaze, biting his lip and toying with the covers. They stood (or in tyler’s case, sat) there in silence, both thinking up things to say, but as much as Tyler tried his mind remained blank.

 

“Tyler..”

  
“I’ll get up.” Tyler said softly.

 

He looked up when Jenna said nothing and saw the relief on her face. He wanted to say something, and as he opened his mouth to do so, he was being hugged. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, tears wetting his skin as she cried.

 

“I just want you to be okay.” She whispered.

 

He just wanted to be okay too.

 

\- - - - -

 

Eventually, Tyler got up. He had shuffled to the shower, the warmth of the water making the gross that had settled over his skin wash away. He wished it would work on his problems as well. After a long time, he had reluctantly gotten out of the water, kinda wanting to stay there forever. He dried himself quickly before dragging a towel through his hair and getting dressed in new clothes.

 

When he left his room and went into the living room he had planned for his 3 friends to come up and hug him, but not for his 3 friends, Ashley, Debby, Patrick, Pete, Ryan and Melanie. If Josh wasn’t there, he wasn’t paying attention to that.

 

“Fuck Tyler, we were so worried about you.” Tears were beading down Debby’s face. “You had that serious panic attack and then you never left and Brendon and Dallon said you were sick…… I was just so worried.”

 

Tyler felt tears well in his eyes because, how could he have hurt such a nice girl? She probably knew about him and Josh but she was still so nice.

 

“Next time Tyler, please let us help.” Brendon tried to sound annoyed, but the relief and worry in his eyes betrayed how he felt.

 

“I’ll try.” He promised weakly.

 

He looked at everyone and let the tears stream down his face because these people care and he can’t hide his pain forever. “I’m sorry I worried all of you and I’m so sorry that I basically ruined your lives along with mine. You’re the best friends anyone could ask for and I don’t want to lose any of you.” He managed around small sobs.

 

He felt many strong arms, stronger than him, hold him, keep him standing. Keep him stable. He sobbed freely into the nearest shoulder, the comfort drawing out every last bit of sadness he had in him and forming it into tears. If his brain said that someone missing and their name was Josh, Tyler was ignoring it.

 

Screw Josh. He isn’t here to comfort Tyler. These people are. These people are who he needs.

 

_ But he needs to ask about Josh. Where is Josh why isn’t he here why is he not with everyone else?  _

 

When everyone pulled away from the hug and Tyler wiped his eyes, he opened his mouth, drawing in a shaky breath to speak.

 

The words:  _ “Where’s Josh?” _ are on the tip of his tongue as the door opens.

 

Everyone instinctively looks over, Tyler’s eyes the first to land on who stands at the door.

 

It’s Josh. He’s got a box of dunkin donuts in his hands, 10 coffees precariously balanced on top.  As he looks up his gaze stops, eyes widening slightly with shock at what he sees.

 

Yellow. Electric yellow. Lemon yellow. The yellow of a smile. It’s just-

  
It’s yellow. Josh’s hair is yellow.


	10. 10.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hehe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter not too long after the last one and I'm so proud of how quickly I managed to add on a chapter. Fastest I've ever done it.  
> Enjoy

“Yellow.” Tyler said softly.

 

Everyone else had seemed to stop talking, stop breathing even as Josh entered the room. Maybe they all shared the same unspoken thought of:  _ “Why is it yellow?” _

 

“Why is it yellow?” Tyler’s voice came out as a breath rather than an actual sound.

 

He felt everyone’s eyes flicking between him and Josh as they stared for what felt like hours, but was probably only seconds.

 

Josh slowly raised the box and gave a lopsided grin. “I brought donuts.” He said with questioned enthusiasm.

 

It immediately broke the silence and tension in the room and everyone moved to Josh to grab stuff.

 

“You’re a lifesaver Josh.” Debby said as she grabbed two coffees, turning and handing one to Ashley.

 

“He would be if his hair was orange.” Ashley snorted as she received the coffee. “Now he looks like he was electrocuted and the color of the lightning stayed in his hair.”

 

“Give him a red shirt and he’s McDonald’s fries.” Dallon chuckled before taking a sip of his coffee.

 

Josh rolled his eyes. “Okay okay, it’s been 2 days enough with the jokes about my hair colour.”

 

The banter played between them all but Tyler was still stuck in his spot, because it’s Josh and he doesn’t want to ruin anything else. If he just stays still then he can’t do anything wrong right?  _ It’s YELLOW!? WHY YELLOW? _ Just stay right here and admire the color of the carpet. It’s actually nothing to admire because it’s kinda become a disgusting beige-dirt brown colour (they probably need to vacuum). Maybe everyone’s doing their own thing and Tyler can shuffle over to his bed and hide again. He should check -  _ Holy shit Josh is right in front of me with a coffee. _

 

Tyler startles slightly upon seeing Josh standing in front of him with a coffee and a raised brow. He tries not to notice how Josh’s stance is kinda tight, like he’s ready to flee at any moment and the eyes he’s boring into him with are full of guilt and pity.  _ “How can you be pitious and guilty at the same time? Do you feel guilty for the mess you caused and pity for those who suffered?” _

 

“Tyylerr.” Josh dragged out his name, snapping Tyler out of his thoughts (again.)

 

“Yeah.” Tyler’s voice was like a whisper, it was annoying.

 

“Do you want coffee and a donut?” Josh gave a small laugh. Tyler assumed it was at how aloof he’s being.

 

“Yeah, totally.” Tyler shook his thoughts from his head and took the coffee in hand.

 

He followed Josh over to the kitchen island where everyone else was standing. He stood at the end of it, as everyone had taken up the long sides. Immediately everyone’s gazes fell upon him and the small talk died down. Tyler stared at the donuts in the box, none of them touched because (Tyler assumed) they wanted Tyler taking first pick. It was a test and Tyler knew it. If he didn’t eat, they knew it would be because Tyler felt like he was going to throw up cause of how bad he felt. If he ate, he was okay (or was he faking it? Fake smiles weren’t hard to do.) Tyler had to make a choice, and fast. The longer he waited, the more he knew that  _ they  _ knew he knew it was a test.

 

Tyler grabbed a donut. It was a chocolate glazed one with rainbow sprinkles. Simple, original. Not at all like Tyler liked it. He looked back at the box and found nothing that stood out, a frown appearing on his face. He looked at the donut he had, then back at the box a few times before he saw it.

 

Hidden slightly in the corner, underneath another donut sat the odd one out. It was chocolate with bright yellow glaze and simple pink sprinkles. He set the chocolate glazed donut back in the box, moved the offending donut, and grabbed the one he wanted. He immediately took a bite out of it, smiling at the flavour. The tension in the air dissipated like dew in the morning sun and the playful banter arose as the rest of them grabbed donuts and sipped their coffee. Bright smiles surrounded Tyler, and his own smile joined them.

 

In his mind, he sent a small prayer to God.

 

_ Thank you, for everything you’ve given me. _

 

\- - - - -

 

“Hey Tyler, can I talk to you in private for a moment?” Josh whispered to Tyler.

 

Tyler sat stiff for a moment, glancing at Josh to assess how this would go if he accepted. It sounded urgent enough, so dumbly, Tyler nodded a slow agreement. He followed Josh to the hallway, stopping there when he saw Josh walking further to his room.

 

“We’ll talk here, and no further.” Tyler said strongly.

 

He wasn’t about to mess things up again.

 

Josh shrugged and walked over to Tyler, leaning on the wall opposite him. Tyler leaned on the wall opposite Josh, mirroring his pose. He watched as Josh’s nervous tick arose and he ran his hand through his hair, making it neat before ruffling it again.

 

“It’s yellow.” Tyler started, noticing Josh searching for words.

 

Josh looked confused for a moment before nodding. “Yeah I, uh,I needed a change. Well, I’ve had enough change, and that’s what I want to tell you about, but I needed a change I could consciously control. Something that I didn’t accidentally set off.” Josh gave a nervous laugh before clearing his throat.

 

Tyler froze at what Josh said, trying to figure out what he meant by-

 

“You’ve had enough change?”

 

Josh nodded slowly, tugging at his shirt. It was odd seeing Josh do it in relation to him. He was never nervous around Tyler.

 

“Well, what I mean is,” He took a breath. Tyler held his. “Debby and I broke up, and she’s staying with Ashley at the moment.”

 

Tyler stiffened and all the horrible thoughts and feelings he had finally pushed away, came slamming back in. ( _ I came in like a wrecking ball. _ They sang snidely)

 

Tyler staggered at the sudden force of it, the panic attack setting in again and amongst all the  _ “ _ **_YOUR FAULT.” “YOU Did tHSi” “yOU rUineD EVrEytHING”_ ** he had a single thought of  _ “Oh fuck not again.” _ .

 

He wasn’t hitting the floor though, someone was holding him and cursing softly. 

 

_ It’s Josh you idiot. _ The nice part of his brain rolled it’s eyes.

 

“Tyler.” Josh’s voice was softly breaking through the darkness swimming around his mind and the loud fuzzy sound all around.

 

Tyler  _ really _ hated panic attacks.

 

“Tyler c’mon it’s not your fault let me explain.” Josh spoke softly.

 

**_LIeSsSSSsssssS_ ** The anxiety hissed.

 

“Tyler please, come back to me.” Josh sounded really close, like his voice would be coming directly through Tyler’s ears.

 

Tyler turned his head in the general direction of Josh and his blurry vision caught sight of neon yellow hair, chestnut eyes filled with worry, and happy lips twisted into a frown. He decided he didn’t like the look of that and really didn’t want to be having this panic attack. He forced himself to breathe, to feel his lungs filling up and emptying in rhythm. After a moment, his vision was clear, the noise was gone and he was staring at not only Josh, but a very worried everyone else.

 

“Hey guys, I’m okay.” He said weakly.

 

Tyler realised he was seated on the floor, Josh obviously having guided him down there. Speaking of Josh, where did he go? Tyler looked up and gave a squawk in panic as Brendon had Josh pinned against the wall with a look of fury on his face.

 

“What the HELL did you do to him.” Brendon demanded.

 

Nobody was moving to help Josh and it was understandable since Tyler had been fine, then gone and spent 5 seconds with Josh and was in a horrible panic attack.

 

“I didn’t- I wouldn’t-” Josh sputtered, tears forming in his eyes.

 

Brendon growled. “Josh I swear to God we leave you two alone for 5 seconds and he’s-”

 

“Fine, he’s fine.” Tyler said as he stood up and gently touched Brendon’s arm. “Please let him go.”   
  


“When he tells me why you were having another panic attack after being fine.” Brendon’s voice failed at being soft as it was aimed towards Tyler, still coming off threatening.

 

“He was telling me what I missed and I freaked out because I thought it was my fault. It’s my fault for being so sensitive about it. He didn’t do anything wrong.” Tyler said softly, looking at Brendon with pleading eyes.

 

Brendon frowned then nodded and let Josh go, stepping back but not moving his glare from the neon boy.

 

“You guys can leave us it’s okay. I’d rather have this conversation privately with him, sorry.” Tyler smiled reassuringly.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Ever worried mother Dallon stepped forward.

 

Tyler rolled his eyes. “I’m fine. Now go enjoy your coffee.”

 

Everyone reluctantly moving away, Jenna giving Josh a dangerous look before following after the rest.

 

“That’s kinda why I wanted to do this in your bedroom. Incase you panicked.” Josh said weakly. “Can’t blame you for wanting to be wary though.”

 

Tyler nodded, before moving towards his bedroom, feeling Josh tail behind him. Once in the room, they sat a comfortable distance away from each other on the bed.

 

“So, you and Debby broke up?” Tyler stared at his fingers.

 

“Yeah.” Josh replied simply. “But, that’s not all.”   
  


“There’s more?” Tyler looked up at Josh.

 

“Uh, yeah.” Josh gave a nervous laugh, running his hand through his hair again. 

 

Tyler totally didn’t notice Josh licking his lips.

 

Nope.

 

“It’s really concerning all of our friends. As you can see, everyone’s really wary around me now. Brendon was quick to jump on me for your panic attack, which I don’t really blame him, and everyone’s not really associating with me.” Josh looked away again and Tyler could hear the warble in his voice. “It’s cause they all blame me for your panic attack and you falling so far into your depression. I blame myself too because it’s all my fault if I hadn’t made advances and I hadn’t done anything then this wouldn’t have happened. I’m so sorry I caused you and everyone all that grief-”   
  


“Don’t.” Tyler said forcefully.

 

Josh’s eyes connected with his, tears dripping slowly down his cheeks, eyes confused. Tyler didn’t like it when Josh looked like that either.

“Don’t take blame, because it was not your fault. I don’t blame you, so you shouldn’t blame yourself. I blame myself. In fact, it was equally both of us because we could have stopped, yet we didn’t. So don’t take full blame, because that’s not how it is.” Tyler didn’t move his gaze from Josh’s at any point in his mini speech.

 

They sat silently and Tyler noticed how he had moved closer to Josh, how his arm was now by Josh’s side, but still respectfully on the bed.

 

“I love you.” Josh blurted out and Tyler stiffened.

 

If Tyler kissed Josh first, nobody knew about it.

  
And if Tyler slipped an ‘I love you’ somewhere in between the kiss and him sitting straight, nobody knew about that either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you noticed but my writing got really lazy, but i'm really tired so oh well


End file.
